Monday, September 29, 2008

MF Awesome Awards: Pack vs. Bucs

Here's this weeks MF Awesome awards: Pack vs. Bucs.

Rodgers played tough and threw a couple touchdowns, but three pics in one game makes you worthless to me. If you have to miss next are dead to me.

Running Back:
Grant I hate you.

Jennings was great, where was Driver? And Nelsen, you better start stepping you game up or you will just be another Jeff Query, without the mullet and mustache.

Woodson did great again, but I'm getting sick of this whole bend but break defense. It's lame.

Special Teams:
I want our old punter back now.

You lose one game shame on you. You lose two games in a row shame on me. You lose one more in a row and please die.

They are the only ones worthy of Three Awesomes because they actually came to play. Maybe I'll be a Lions fan now.

Nice job Pack. The O-Line and D-Line are horrible, you have no running game, your quarterback may be hurt for like ever, and to top it of, you can't coach. Could be a long season after all.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Green Bay Packers (2-1) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1)

When I was a kid my much older brother used to love the joke "where are you buccaneers? On the side of your buccanhead."

Jokes really weren't his thing.

The story of the game:

Al Harris is out. Atari Bigby is out. During play Nick Collins, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rouse, Cullen Jenkins, Will Blackmon and the running game missed significant time due to injuries.

Apparently the good folks down in Tampa (I'm kidding, there are obviously no good folks in Tampa) haven't heard of TD Grassmaster. The entire game was strewn with guys falling down, more divots flying than a Caddyshack marathon, groundskeepers repairing the sod and other frustrations. Both teams had to deal with the conditions so I'm not blaming the loss on it, I'm just pointing out that Tampa may want to spend more that $12.50 a week on maintenance is all.

The other story of the game:

Our O-line is in shambles at this point. I was hoping the return of Scott Wells would help in this matter, but to be honest most of the blame for today's loss should rest on the large and slow moving shoulders of Chad Clifton. Clif has the most holding calls in the league this year and also was beaten on at least one sack today. He also, along with two tight ends, failed to pick up the DE and allowed Rodgers to take a hit which led to an interception. Rodgers got the ball out in all of 2 seconds and clearly wasn't prepared for that sort of beating.

Aaron Rodgers took one series of the game off in the 4th quarter due to an injury to his throwing arm. Matt Flynn came in to replace him. In this three play series the O-line picked up a false start and a holding penalty. They also opened up zero holes. So, good luck Rook! Not only are they not helping, they're openly trying to fail at this point.

The sad reminder that the combination of people and microphones is not ideal when the "people" includes an ex-fullback:

Near the end of the game Matt Bryant, the Buc's kicker, hit a field goal to put Tampa up 23-21. Matt Bryant and his wife are dealing with the passing of their young son. According to Daryl Johnston "Hollywood couldn't write a better story. To deal with this type of adversity and overcome it is just tremendous."

Now, I'm not saying that Matt Bryant doesn't deserve kudos for playing well when he has to deal with the loss of his child. That is impressive. But guess what? Kicking a field goal or two in a week 4 contest isn't really going to change his life all that much is it? I mean, c'mon! I just wish it wasn't sold as if a good day in the NFL will fix all of your ills. It won't. Only consistent workouts and a sensible diet will do that.

Final Score:

Tampa Bay Buccanheads 30 - Green Bay Packers 21

We didn't deserve to win this one. Well, ok, Chuck Wood deserved to win today, but nobody else. So I can't complain about the result. We need to get the O-line sorted out and we need Ryan Grant to start seeing the holes if they actually manage to, y'know, make some. We need to get some guys healthy in the secondary too or that matchup with the Seahawks in a few weeks will seem like a 1987 replacement game or something. Fix it!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ahhh C'mon!!!!!

I can live in a world where I'm honestly happy that gas is "down" to $3.40 a gallon. But I don't know if I can handle a world where the Detroit Lions are good. Matt Millen, the GM of the Detroit Lions who was hired despite no experience in the front office was expected by William Clay Ford to be the idiot savant of drafting. He got half of it right, the guy was definitely an idiot. Now he's fired.

More importantly, let's ask the hard hitting questions that C& is known for - A) Has anyone seen the word "savant" anywhere but part of "idiot savant"? B) Has anyone bought a Ford car or truck, driven it off the lot and thought to themselves "Wait a minute, the same guy who runs the Lions runs this car company? Did I just buy a Ford Millen? What's that clunking?"

I'm a little disappointed because this may be the beginning of the end of our automatic 2-0 record every year. True, there's no indication that the Fords will figure it out and hire someone competent, but still, they could accidentally make a good decision somehow.

The Lions are so bad that the Minnesota Golden Gophers would schedule them for their homecoming game. A team that had to hang on to beat Division 12 Montana State by the way. Seriously. I give the college game a lot of crap because I consider it to be the minor leagues of football and because of the cupcakes on the schedule, but given the two automatic wins every year the Lions give us maybe it's time to reconsider.

I'd write more but I have to go now. I've got an interview with WC Ford about an opening in his organization. He heard I talk about them footballs and thought I'd be a good fit. So don't sweat it Packer fans, I'll make sure the Lions keep on giving us what we need. Sure they may figure me out, but it'll take 7 years. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go pick a wide receiver in the top 10.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

MF Awesome Meter

Each week Cheese and Packers will rate the performance of key positions and give them a "Awesome" ranking. For example, last week the Packers played the Cowboys and NOTHING WAS AWESOME. Therefore, I would give the team a

ranking. They were wasting my time. Here's how it will break down for every week.

Three Awesomes= You are the best ever on this day.

Two Awesomes= You are not bad, you're barely good enough for my high standards.

One Awesomes= Please stop not being awesome.

No Awesomes= Odds are I hate you.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Coming and Going

Through many years of football watching and reading and analyzing and whatnots I've figured that out injuries are part of the game. I'm clear on that subject. If you are not, well, just listen to every coach who has to find a way to win without his star player each week. They'll tell you - "Injuries are part of the game."

In welcome news, Scott Wells should be back in the lineup this week at Center. This allows Jason Spitz to move back to Right Guard and puts Tony Moll back bagging groceries. Wait. I'm being told Mr. Moll won't be bagging any groceries? Really? Not qualified or what? No kidding? You're saying he'll just be on the bench but still draw a paycheck as a pro player huh? Hmm. Interesting. Yes, I did just pretend to be in a conversation for this entire paragraph. Yes, I also know it's unfair to blame one guy. I still did it though.

In very, very unwelcome news it appears Al Harris may be done for the season. If you read the article you can have fun perusing horrific quotes like “Once Al told (head trainer Pepper Burruss) he was tasting some blood and had some blood in his urine, (Burruss) said, ‘That’s it, you’re done,’ took his helmet right there.”

I love Al. In part because he's the secondary's iron man. In part because of the venom he produces in Vikings fans. I actually saw two guys high five each other in my office today when they heard "Dirty Al" was down and out. In an unrelated note Hell just filled two new vacancies.

So we're looking at Tramon Williams starting opposite Chuck Wood for at least a few weeks, but more than likely the rest of the season. I can see a day in the next few years where Tramon and Will Blackmon are our starters so this doesn't terrify me. Only spiders terrify me. Because they're terrifying. But I don't know if I was ready for that era to begin this week.

But hey, it could be worse right?

Pack vs. Cowboys-Winners and Wieners

Pack vs. Cowboys-Winners and Wieners


Winners! Rodgers played well but needs to push the ball down the field more. No TD's, but he also had zero picks. You gotta like his wheels though.

Running Backs:
Wieners. Running Back=Blows. Hold Grant out until he's better...and next time don't give so much money to an unproven back.

Wieners. Not being awesome makes you a wiener. Jennings was great, Driver was good, and Nelson is living up to his lame, common last name.

Wieners. I'm glad they held T.O. to not much at all, but at what cost? What cost!

Special Teams:
Winners. Crosby got us some points...but where was Blackmon?

Wiener. McCarthy lost a big one at home. A few more like that and you'll find yourself hangin' with Sherman. And by the way, next time get your team ready so they don't get winded at the end of the game, thanks.

Cowboy Fans:
Wieners. You gotta love them, right? Not only are they the lamest fans ever, but they all need to die.

Get it together Pack! Start treating these games like they mean everything, cuz they do. Otherwise you'll end up like the Vikings...Superbowless and stupid.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Dallas Cowgirls (2-0) at Green Bay Packers (2-0)

Sunday Night Football! Al Michaels and John Madden in the booth! Andrea Kremer still somehow gainfully employed despite being in a role no one can find a reason to keep around!

Mike Carey is our ref tonight. He's not terrible. So that's cool for him.

Injury Report

Roy Williams of the Cowboys is out. He's been overrated forever so I'm not sure what that means for us tonight. We're still without Scott Wells. Jason Spitz replaces him and Tony Moll impersonates airspace at Right Guard. Atari Bigby is out as well. Aaron Rouse in for him.


14:39 - The Packers receive the kickoff. Ryan Grant goes for 9 yards off the right side but fumbles the ball. Pacman Jones recovers and returns to our 14. Hmm. I realize that Grant's best game as a Packer came after two early, crushing turnovers against the Seahawks in the playoffs last year but he doesn't have to do this.

13:55 - The defense stuffs the Cowboys and forces a Nick Folk field goal from 25. The Cowboys have Terrell Owens in motion off the line to avoid the bump and run. They would call this smart. But let's face it, they're a bunch of cowards. TO especially. Chuck Woodson is on him tonight instead of Al. That's a good sign.


10:30 - Greg Jennings gets open on a slant and a quick little out for 18 yards on a 3rd and 4. The guy's a star already but everyone keeps on calling him a surprise this year. It's a little weird.

8:40 - The drive stalls on the Dallas 7. Crosby hits from 35. Field goals aren't going to be good enough against a team with all of these toys on offense.


6:51 - Al Harris is down. Writhing in pain. Writhing. I don't do much writhing myself (knock on wood). It doesn't look like much fun. Tramon Williams in to replace him.

3:00 - Okay, not happy. Nick Barnett came off the field looking like his left shoulder is roughly 2 inches lower than it should be. He's also a candidate for some solid writhing but he's boldly chosen to go with "grimace and point at the injury" instead. Desmond Bishop replaces him.

:30 - 3rd and 13 (GB 21) for Dallas. Tony Romo stares down his favorite target, Jason Witten, and thankfully doesn't see Nick Collins undercut him for the easy pick in the end zone. 61 yards later he's finally brought down.


15:00 - Aaron Rodgers fumbles the snap but recovers at the 50. I realize that Spitz is the backup but this is the third game in a row with a fumbled snap. Let's sort it out boys.

14:00 - Rodgers redeems himself. He breaks out of a potential sack, then jumps and wings a perfect strike to Greg Jennings for a first down. The drive stalls and Mason Crosby comes out for another field goal, this one from the 38. Remarkable restraint by Al Michaels there to not take the easy way out (yes, I'm talking to you Tony Kornheiser) and talk about Favre.


10:36 - Brandon Chillar has seen some extensive action already tonight. He's making plays too. I know a bit was made about how he's our only free agent signing and he's Frank Walker-esque but let's give him a chance. In this game he's already made 3 nice plays in coverage, which is Brady Poppinga's biggest weakness. He could fill a role.

9:46 - It was just a matter of time. Mark Tauscher gets flagged for a hold. I think that's the O-line's first penalty of the night and it didn't involve Tony Moll. Sidebets in offices throughout the dairyland just paid off big on the long shot. I would have taken Moll as the first penalty no matter what the odds.

6:04 - Felix Jones, the backup running back for the Cowboys, takes it left for 60 yards and a TD. Nick Collins was the only Packer on that side of the field and a little chip by the wideout sprung Jones. It should be noted that apparently Nick chose the "cement cleats" for the play because it looked like he wasn't even moving.


:17 - Cullen Jenkins has transformed into Beast mode for this game. He sacked Tony Romo on the 20, forced a fumble, and nearly recovered the ball. He followed that up with another pressure to force an overthrow in the end zone. CJ is all fired up. Nick Folk hits the figgie.



13:45 - Brandon Chillar is down with an injury. Just the wind knocked out? He's out, Brady Poppinga back in. I'm not in love with the trend of injured defensive guys tonight. On the plus side Terrell Owens only has 2 catches for all of 17 yards right now. Coward. Any truth to the rumor that Chuck broke his toe by putting a foot up TO's ass? The world may never know. But I do.

8:25 - Crosby hits from 33. Didn't I say field goals were not an option tonight? Didn't I? There was a nice drive with a lot of nice runs by Ryan Grant and especially Brandon Jackson. BranJ seems like he's starting to see some holes this year and moving the pile when he's caught. I'm liking what I'm seeing. The drive ended on another sack of Rodgers. He's holding it a bit too long but his O-line isn't helping much.


4:19 - Nick Collins gets beat by Miles Austin for 65 yards down to the Green Bay 3 yard line. Weird game for Nick. He's had his second nice pick in two weeks. His second nice return. He's made some nice plays in the run game too, but the Cowboys two biggest plays tonight were both on him.

By the way, I have no idea who Miles Austin is either. Don't feel bad about it.


1:45 - Hey, that's my boy! Tony Moll beaten badly which ends up in a sack of Rodgers. I'm not putting all of the blame on Tony, I mean Pacman Jones and Jerry Jones are both in the building and they clearly deserve blame for anything negative that ever occurs on this earth. It's sort of like how some States have no "zero fault" car accidents...No matter what occurs, no matter what it's about, Jerry Jones always gets 5% of the blame and Pacman gets 5%. If firearms are involved then Pacman gets 10%. That's just how it is.

1:29 - Another nice sequence for Cullen Jenkins. He destroys Felix Jones for a 5 yard loss. There was a blocker on him, he just didn't do any blocking. I guess it wouldn't be appropriate to call him a "blocker" in that situation huh? Anywho, he followed that play up with another pressure of Tony Romo that resulted in an intentional grounding penalty. Nice game CJ.


12:01 - Well, Charlie Peprah's in the game. So we're rolling with two backup safeties at the moment, and a backup at one of the corner spots. Our one remaining starter has a broken toe. How are we still in this thing? Oh right, Tony Romo has played terribly. I'm sure that'll last.

9:09 - Ballgame. Miles Austin, again I have no idea who this is and now I don't care to, hauls in a 50 yard TD pass from Romo over Tramon Williams. I guess I can't complain that much about our backups when for all I know Miles Austin is the traveling secretary for the Cowboys.

Garbage time - Rodgers got in on a QB sneak to make it vaguely more interesting. But only vaguely. This one felt like a loss on the schedule when I saw it in the preseason, and it feels like I got that one right. Which feels terrible. Shall we talk more of my feelings? No? Probably a good choice.

To be honest I'm not that worried about whether Aaron Rodgers can beat the Cowboys in September. I am worried about whether he can in January. This is just his third start and hopefully he'll improve as we go along here. We have that to look forward to at least.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Is it BS or BS?

There's something happening here,
What it is ain't exactly clear.
There's a man with a gun over there,
Telling me I got to beware.
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound,
Everybody look what's going down.

Buffalo Springfield - lyrics from for what it's worth

Amidst all of the cheers and occasional groans of Sunday's win over the Lions it was almost easy to overlook the underriding theme of our season. That is, if our season can have a theme when it's just 2 games old. That hidden theme? The benefits of a QB who does not take unnecessary risks.

For the second consecutive game (and yes I threw "consecutive" in there to make it sound more impressive than it is) a Green Bay Packer QB somehow won a game without throwing a single pass that was fortunate to not be intercepted. There was a fumble on a play when Rodgers held the ball too long, but no stupid pick. No momentum crushing toss to a safety's chest. No one and done deep balls that fell into the wrong team's hands.

So, is the 2 game sample from Aaron Rodgers a bunch of BS? Can he sustain this level of play? Or, if not quite this level can he keep on making good decisions with the ball and moving the offense? Is this a case of the other teams just needing some game tape of him so they can learn how to take him down to size?

Or is this the BS I'm quoting up above? The Buffalo Springfield? I mean, there is something happening here - we may well be better than we were last year when we were expected to take a big step back. There's no doubting that it ain't exactly clear. What is clear is that we know who the "man with the gun" is and he's sporting a QB rating around 117, has 5 TDs combined and no interceptions, and he's definitely let the rest of the NFC North know that they had better beware.

I won't stretch the analogy any further than I have already done. But I'm happy and downright fired up for the future of this team. I realize the precarious nature of the situation. Rodgers may be average going forward. He may get hurt. Blah blah blah. I can't wait to see what goes down this Sunday night.

YouTube Fun

I thought we could take a break and look back at the last great quarterback to start for the Packers. I know I know, we don't have to look back that far. Only about 16 years. Here's a tribute to the Majik Man.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Pack vs. Lions-Winners and Wieners

Pack vs. Lions Winners and Wieners:

Rodgers had another terrific game. Once again he managed the offense flawlessly and threw for three touchdowns. I didn't like the fumble though.

Running Backs:
Big Fat Wiener! Even though Jackson had a touchdown, what's missing is a real running threat. We got up early in the game, and Grant was too busy holding his millions to grind out the rest of the game. Lame.

Winner! We got four amazing receivers and I love them all equal. Except that Nelson can never trust a Nelson.

Winners! Did you see that nasty sack A.J. laid down...the one where he flew in the air? Amazing.

Winners! Mike laid out a nice game plan for the first 21 points, then got more conservative than Mike Sherman. Let's try to finish a game tight next time.

Special Teams:
Wieners! Gimme a break with the punter already!

Matt Millen:

I love this guy, he is killing the Lions softly!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Detroilet Lions (0-1) vs. Green Bay Packers (1-0)

The announcers today are JC Pearson and Matt Vasgergian but it's sorta hard to focus on that when Charissa Thompson, the sideline reporter, is on screen. She's got the foxy librarian glasses on and a name that kinda seems like she may be "one of those type" of dancers.

I mention Charissa not for her general hotness though, but because of her commentary. In discussing Lions DT Cory Redding she mentioned that his family is based in Houston, TX and is dealing with Hurricane Ike. She also noted that when he was younger he lived in Miami during Hurricane Andrew and had to "climb trees and eat mangos and bananas" to stay alive in the aftrmath of the storm. I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm happy Jimmy the Greek was not the sideline report today, for so many reasons.

Scott Wells is out. Ryan Grant is in, but just barely. Chuck Woodson is in despite a broken toe. I actually mis-typed that initially as a "broken tail" which would be more interesting but much, much more confusing.

With that all wrapped up let me once again reacquint you with...THE BIG PLAY SEQUENCER! Revel in it's glory! Behold it's Beauty! Scroll down slowly!


9:28 - This is the start of the Packer's second series. We had a three and out with two runs for 1 yard. We started off this series with another run, this time for a loss. In totally unrelated news Detroit gave up 912 yards last week to the Atlanta Falcons on the ground. I know 4 plays isn't much of a sample size, but this isn't our strength so it's notable.

5:18 - 3rd and 7 (Det 44) - Aaron Rodgers avoids the rush and flares out to the sideline before finding James Jones for the 1st down. For a first time starter Rodgers is quite adept at avoiding the pressure. I'm digging the awareness.

3:26 - Welcome to your professional football career Mr. Kregg Lumpkin! The rookie showed some nice burst and good vision in hitting the hole up the middle for a 22 yard gain. We're down to the Detroit 10 and looking solid.

2:06 - Once again Rodgers avoids a sack and makes a play. This time a TD pass to James Jones. The replay shows Greg Jennings was in the corner of the end zone doing jumping jacks but JJ didn't know it and Rodgers couldn't get it there. Still, the Lions didn't bother to cover two guys on the play, which I like to see.



14:12 - I love the Lions. You know how most teams scout out guys who "fit their system" or are "Packer people" or whatever slogan you want to mention? The Lions must do this and turn up guys who drop easy passes, quit on the team, etc. On 3rd and 10 Calvin Johnson drops an easy pass. Roy Williams did it earlier in the game as well. How often do you see wide open wideouts just drop a pass like this on good teams?

13:47 - Rodgers hits Greg Jennings for 62 yards. Jennings had a little move that CB Fisher bit on, and then fell down because of, which left him wide open. The pass was underthrown but Jennings still had time to make the catch and try out for Dancing with the Stars with a mad scramble of his own.

13:03 - Kregg Lumpkin takes a quick screen for 12 yards. Again, nice burst. I understand why he's on the team now. I still don't understand calculus, but this I get. Score one for me.

11:07 - 3rd and goal (Det 2) - 4 wides. Don Driver makes a quick move and is way too wide open for a TD pass. I like where this is going. Our two scoring drives both went for more than 80 yards, took time off the clock, and left us looking dominant.


9:37 - The defense is all fired up. Aaron Kampman sacked Jon Kitna on third down to force a punt. I think that's the third sack so far, and the pressure is looking solid. Cullen Jenkins is causing all sorts of problems on the left side too.

6:47 - 3rd and 2 (Det 29) - The rookie, Jordy Nelson, blows the doors off his man for an easy TD. It looks like the CB, Brian Kelly, was trying to get a jam, but he didn't and Jordy just ran in for the score. Nice way to get your first NFL reception, no?


5:00 - Jon Kitna holds the ball forever and gets to be the meat in a KGB and Kampman sandwich because of it. That is not a sandwich I would want to see on menus nationwide. I'll just stick with the club thanks. No tomato.

:27 - Jeff Backus holds Cullen Jenkins again. I think that's the second on him and he's still given up a bunch of hits on the QB. After the penalty Kitna overthrows Mike Furrey in the end zone and disaster is averted. The D line is creating havoc today. Jason Hanson hits the field goal from 38.



13:30 - Aaron Rouse is in for safety Atari Bigby. Bigby had some sort of injury at the end of the first half but walked off under his own power. Hopefully it's nothing serious. I like Rouse but I like really good depth more.

12:13 - Al was on the sidelines while Roy Williams went uncovered for an 18 yard gain. I don't recall seeing Al sit out very much in the past. We've also gone with more zone today than I've seen recently. Now it's entirely possible I just don't pay much attention, but it was an interesting change.

11:40 - Fortunately Jon Kitna appears to suffer from the same disease that Minnesota QB Tarvaris Jackson has. He overthrows open receivers for no particular reason. Hanson from 49.
By the way, since the Vikings thought they were Superbowl contenders and Tarvaris clearly has other plans would it be ok if we said that he "TarJacked" their season? I like it. I'm going with it. Jon Kitna is a TarJacker too.


9:37 - Weird sequence. Rodgers fumbled the snap but recovered the football. Then was flushed out of the pocket, tiptoed down the sideline for a first down and then on the next play had the ball knocked out of his hand by Dwayne White. White had beaten Chad Clifton on the left side on the play. Detroit recovers (Det 30).

8:55 - AJ Hawk dives over a blocking running back to sack Jon Kitna. Unfortunately they were already in field goal range thanks to the turnover. Hanson from 53.


2:38 - The offense answers back with a nice drive and a field goal. Don Driver had a classic DD-style catch and run for 10 yards that made me smile, but nothing much else happened. Mason Crosby hits the FG from 25.



13:19 - Gaaah! Wood jumped the route and nearly had an interception. Unfortunately he tipped the ball and Calvin "Megatron" Johnson grabbed it and strolled in for a surprisingly easy 38 yard TD.


13:08 - Ok. That's not gonna' work for me. Derrick Frost, punting from his own end zone, let's the snap go through his hands and across the end line for a Safety. Y'see Derrick, when the team is up by 8 in the fourth quarter everyone is generally all right with things. But when you decide to give the other team 2 points just for the heck of it? Yeah, people tend to get antsy.


7:50 - After some questionably cowardly playcalling we're stuck in the same spot we've been for a while. Frost managed to actually punt the ball this time but it was a line drive that Mike Furrey was able to return to our 47 yard line. Megatron catches a little slant and somehow manages to score. The D looked real slow on their pursuit, particularly Tramon, who was awkward as heck in the coverage. I think I tried that exact same move on my date on prom night Tramon, didn't work for me either.


6:56 - Another penalty on the offensive line. I'm getting annoyed now. That's 6 more today after the dozen on MNF last week. 2nd and 13 coming - Rodgers hits Greg Jennings over the middle for 60 yards (about 10 in the air). Dwight Smith whiffed on the play. I point that out because Dwight Smith was a guy so dirty that even the Vikings wouldn't keep him around anymore, and I can't stand him.

5:28 - The drive stalls when Brandon Jackson drops an easy one. See what I get for complaining about guys dropping easy passes? Still, the offense answered back. Rodgers answered back, and we're back ahead thanks to Crosby hitting from 39. Also, a little feel good moment on the sideline, Rodgers and Jackson had the little fist bump/chat that probably came down to Jackson saying "I'll catch that next time" and Rodgers responding "I know."


5:11 - Wood picks off a poorly thrown pass at the Detroit 40 intended for Megatron Johnson. A little redemption for Wood there after the tip TD earlier.

3:37 - Speaking of redemption. Brandon Jackson picks up 13 yards off the right side and follows it up with a 20 yard TD run. It looked a little desperate at first with BranJ going right and then stopping, but he found the hole and got us a win.


2:09 - Wow. The Detroit Lions hopes of winning today? Yeah, they've been TarJacked by Jon Kitna in the last 3 minutes. Three picks. 21 points given up. Two of them returned for TDs by Wood and Nick Collins. Seriously. That was embarrassing Mr. Kitna.



Son of a... Jon Kitna just hit me in the chest with another errant pass. Knock it off Jonny! Knock it off!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Vote Cheese and Packers!

You may have noticed some pretty awesome images on our site lately. If you haven't, then start! MF and I have entered a Packer fan contest for Penske Trucks to create the most bad-ass commercial, and the winner gets to go to the last Packer game of the year. So Cheese and Packers fans, it's time to step up! Vote for us and help us achieve greatness, we will love you for it.

Also, it's no coincidence that the two main characters look like us....right down to the facial hair and socks.

Go here to check out the contest and vote for commercial 5, that's us!


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Pack Vs. Vikings- Winners and Wieners

To celebrate our three year anniversary Cheese and Packers is mixin' it up a bit. Instead of our weekly Golden Mullet Awards, we will do the Winners and Wieners. Winners are good, Wieners are bad. Here is a picture of a's Cheese and Packers very own MF Pack.

Here is a wiener. That's bad. (It would be a different story if it was a Johnsonville brat!)

Here we go!

Pack Vs. Vikings-Winners and Wieners

Winner! Rodgers was perfect in a game with the whole world watching. Throwing for one touchdown and running another one it, that was great! And he had more rushing yards in his first start than Favre has had in years!

Running Back:
Winner! Even though Ryan Grant was a bit slow because of his injury, he looked great. I was not too pleased with Brandon Jackson though.

Winner! The receivers did well, but I would have loved to see some more YAC from our fellas.

Winner! They were solid enough, but there were some big drives that I didn't love. Great pressure on Jackson and that INT. at the end was killa.

Winner! Seemed a bit conservative in the coaching, but it was steady she goes in this win.

Vikings Defense:
Wieners! Where was the pressure and the spine in the back stuff we heard about all season? Not only did Allen not get a sack, he didn't even get a tackle.

Viking Fans:
Wieners! Nope, you're done! It's a long season, but hopefully it will be even longer for you. Hopefully you can get sold this year and move to Canada.

All in all, great start for the Pack. Now let's take this show to Detroit!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Crystal Sugar

A few years ago Crystal Sugar ran a commercial starring an older lady. I know, this is fascinating, just bear with me. This older lady would taste various baked goods and whatnots and dismiss them, as old ladies are wont to do. Finally, they'd drop a bag of good ol' Crystal Sugar on the screen and she'd take 35 seconds to utter her support for the superior sugar product "Crystal sugar...Don't. Take. Chances."

Clearly this commercial had a slightly bigger impact on me and mine than you and your'n. I can't find the old lady on google images or the commercial on youtube. Which would be an outrage if I was 15 and thought the internet had everything on it. But I'm not 15. I'm at least 25, as far as I know. To be fair to me I was like 1 second old at the time of my birth so I don't remember everything that happened. So sue me.

You may be asking "hey, why is he bringing up old ladies shilling for baking ingredients in a post that is ostensibly about football?" To which I would reply, "excellent use of the word 'ostensibly' buddy." The reason is simple, for the first time in oh, let's just guesstimate at 16 years, I watched a Packer QB control the game and not take chances.

I don't want to get into a Favre vs. Rodgers discussion here. I will be forever on the record as saying that I wish Favre had stayed and played, but that I also thought Rodgers could be the guy once he retired. I refuse to pick sides in the Teddy T vs. Brett argument. I love 'em both. Favre for being the best player I've ever seen and Teddy for somehow combining his abilities as an effective GM while also maintaining an ongoing impersonation of Herman Munster.

So, now that I'm on the record for loving life with that Rayovac sellin', Wrangler wearin', whacko Favre let me tell you what I enjoyed about the first game of the post-Favre era:

  1. I saw zero, count 'em zero, opposing defensive backs holding their helmets in anguish after dropping an interception they thought they had wrapped up.
  2. I saw two QB sneaks.

  3. I saw 36 yards rushing by the Packer QB.

  4. I saw a QB complete 82 percent of his passes who never once seemed to get lucky or force the issue.

I'm not saying that I prefer the new way or that Rodgers will be a hall of famer like his predecessor. I'm just saying that I enjoyed the change. In my defense, it's been 16 years, but still...As Packer fans it shouldn't be considered a rejection of Favre to acknowledge that the "safety first" approach from Rodgers was effective, fun to watch, and a helpful addition to my anti-heart attack regimen.

I don't know what the future holds. One game means exactly nothing. But I will say this much, I came into the game feeling that I didn't know this team due to the shuffling on the O-line, the absence of Ryan Grant during the preseason, and the presence of #12 in the huddle. I left this game feeling like I know that our QB is good enough to win games for us, and poised enough not to lose them. I'm fired up for the Crystal Sugar era.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Minnesota Viqueens (0-0) at Green Bay Packers (0-0)

Monday Night Football! With all your favorites like... Mike Tirico! Yay! And um, Tony Kornheiser... uh, yay. And Ron Jaworski! Yay! Of course that last "yay" was for his analysis only. Any interaction with Tony K is completely unacceptable. TK is the Hindenburg and your analysis is New Jersey, Jaws. I know you can't run away but don't invite him over ok?

No matter what happens for me the highlight of this game has to be Emmitt Smith's predictions. Driving home I was tuned into the Vikings Radio Network and he was interviewed by Greg Coleman. Emmitt was asked who he was picking and after a long rambling minute praising Aaron Rodgers he went against it and picked the Vikings due to all the pressure being on our QB tonight.

So then, on the ESPN pregame show I see the boys picking their teams for the night. This time, Emmitt picked the Packers. I love that...
A) Emmitt gets paid to speak despite making little to no sense.
B) At one point in the interview he said "I just hit the nail on the head!"
C) He changed his pick because he didn't want to offend the hometown team's fans. 100% awesome.

Three bad omens before we start -
1) Apparently they're paying TK by the Favre reference tonight, and the pay is good.
2) Jeff Triplette continues to be employed as a ref (and is in the house tonight) despite years of incompetence.
3) Wrangler just ran a commercial for their jeans starring Brett Favre. Hey Wrangler, nuts to you! That's just rude, man.

Two good signs:
  • A co-worker who is female and not a football fan thought the line "let's get it kickstarted" from the Hank Williams MNF theme song was actually "let's get this bitch started."
  • I managed to go with three straight bullet point headings for no particular reason other than to exhibit my versatility and fondness for such things.

Last year I did a sort of running game log that was entertaining (to me) but not always the most coherent (to you savages). So, I'm going with something I like to call the Big Play Sequencer. Using state of the art technology, my own guile and a Gateway laptop that makes a weird sound when I hit the "a" and has a cooling fan that apparently was designed for a 1987 Buick LeSabre I have developed this system for your enjoyment.

The Big Play Sequencer breaks down Big Plays in the order they came in during the game. I felt this is important because if the Big Plays were out of the order they came in then this would make no sense and would sort of defeat the purpose. I was against it at the start but my investors are insistent. So, enjoy.


13:30 - The first drive includes a 5 yard scamper from Aaron Rodgers on 3rd and 4. That was nice. I think I saw that maybe 10 times a season for the past 5 years. It's a nice weapon to have. A samurai sword would also fit that description.

12:04 - Jason Spitz and Rodgers fumble the snap leading to the end of the drive. We've got two new centers for this game thanks to injuries to Wells and whoever the heck was our planned long snapper. We have new holders in Rodgers (and Frost on kicks). So this isn't exactly a shock.

6:41 - 3rd and 6 (MN 40) - Aaron Kampman runs a nice stunt and bursts up the gut for a sack of Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson. I bring this up because much has been made about the addition of Jared Allen to the MN line. What these stories fail to mention is that the Packers already HAD a guy like that so they didn't need to make headlines going to get him in the offseason. Please note that when I say "a guy like that" I mean someone who gets to the QB. Otherwise they're not at all alike. Kampman has class, doesn't find the number 69 funny now that he's out of 8th grade and also plays with 100% effort. Allen has none of those things.

3:53 - Three penalties in a row on the O-line. It doesn't seem to be anything the Vikings are doing to pressure these guys, they're just screwing up. Tony Moll is in at Right Guard and out of my Facebook list.

:55 - Al Harris was destroyed by Adrian Peterson after an 8 yard gain up the left sideline. Seriously, get the license plate off that truck. Oh, and pick up that truck's collar bone, if it hasn't fallen off yet it will soon.


13:50 - Thanks to a couple nice runs by AP the Vikings are able to get the first points of the season. Since he is the only skill person with talent, and since the Vikes failed to use him on every play, they had to settle for 3 though. Longwell from 37.


13:17 - Now that I like. The Pack fires right back with a 56 yard completion to Greg Jennings. Cedric Griffin, the Vikings starting CB, left the game and his replacement was beaten for the big gain. Helping on the play was Vikings rookie safety Tyrell Johnson. By "helping" I mean "watching Jennings make a big play on a beautiful deep ball."

10:20 - After roughly a dozen penalties (mostly on the Vikings thankfully) and some stuffed runs the Pack finally come through with a TD. Rodgers danced around, avoided a sack, and somehow found Korey Hall crossing in the end zone for the score. It's weird, I saw a really old guy do something like that for New York yesterday, how did he learn how to copy Rodgers like that when this is his first game?


7:45 - Ryan Grant, playing in his first real or imaginary game since the NFC Championship game, bursts up the right side for 20 yards. His first real contribution. They seem to be bringing him in slowly with a lot of BranJ on more than just third downs.

4:05 - The drive stalls but not until Don Driver and Greg Jennings picked up some major yards. Mason Crosby hits from 42 and we are rolling.


:32 - After a nice drive with the 2 minute drill we settle for a field goal. I'm not a huge fan of the pussyfootin' decision to run the clock down from the MN 20 or so rather than try one in the end zone, but I'm ok with being up by 10 too. Minnesota hasn't shown they can move the ball yet and 10 points at half could be huge. Dangit. Crosby's kick is blocked. We are no longer rolling.


15:00 - Some entertaining half time stats. TJack has 6 yards passing so far. The Vikings lead in rushing 97-84 and for both teams this has come mostly from the QBs. Still, 103 total yards for the Vikings, and I would hazard to guess that about half that has come on scrambles by the QB.

11:59 - Al gets some o' that redemption the preacher's been yammerin' about. One on one with AP in space Al takes him high and throws him low. In a startling upset the Purple Jesus doesn't snap in two on the play. The drive stalls. Longwell from 27.


9:58 - I'm beginning to wonder if Tony Moll has an old dog that he can't find the gumption to put down. I only ask because in addition to the totally not awesome penalties early in the game he somehow managed to wipe out a 70 yard TD pass to Don Driver on a slant and go. Further developments will reveal that Tony wasn't really at fault but man, why push it? Biscuits could be put in harm's way!

6:35 - Will Blackmon takes a line drive punt from Chris Kluwe and makes me very happy. 76 yards and several missing purple jocks later the Pack is up by 11. Yes, I realize I just noted "purple jocks" in that last sentence. It's not my fault they have stupid expansion team colors.


14:30 - It's 4th and 1 (GB 22) for the Vikings. I would recount what happened to get them here but I have no idea. This is a total phantom drive. They've mixed 3 yard runs with incomplete passes, BS penalties and a few QB scrambles to get here. At least that's what I think. I'm not totally sure. TJack hits Sid Rice on a cross for a TD. According to the scoreboard it counts even though they've actually earned about 6 yards on this drive. Missed 2 point conversion, because Tarvaris sucks.


9:15 - You see, this is why I love the Vikes. They have the reigning Rookie of the year and a solid backup in Chester Taylor at RB. So on 3rd and 1 when they absolutely need a yard what do they do? 4 wides, shotgun formation and a pathetic pass that Bobby Wade was lucky to get a hand on and then drop. Brilliant. As I've told my Viking fan friends all year "they'd really be something with a coach and a QB."

7:50 - Ryan Grant shows up again for an encore. 57 yards off the right side and down to the MN 4 yard line. He was trapped on the sideline around the 15 but he dropped two more purple jocks, busted back inside, and nearly finished it off with a TD. If he can shake off the rust we're gonna' be good. 92 yards on the day.

6:03 - Aaron Rodgers with a QB sneak off the left side for the score. A Lambeau Leap for the young guy too. Nice way to start it off. That was a play I've been missing over the past few years as well. Rodgers had a TD and 36 yards on the ground tonight. Seriously, it's a whole new world.


2:39 - AP scores from 4 yards out. Again, I have no idea how the Vikings even got down here. I think this team has 150 total yards and another 100 in questionable penalties on the Packer D. This offense is flat out awful. No matter what else happens, I feel like we have a real team in all phases. The Minnesota fans have to be worried that their offensive gameplan includes penalties, scrambles and an occasional handoff to the only talent they have.


:54 - Atari Bigby picks off TJack around midfield to seal the win.



Close Call?

Looks like Tom Brady is done for the year with his knee injury, and although I have been know to root for an injury or two in my life (Adrian Peterson ), I never saw this one coming. But here is my point. Wouldn't it have been extra suck if Favre didn't work out a deal with the Jets and was waiting for a spot to open up....and then go to the Patriots. With him on the Jets, who cares? The Jets have no fans. But with the Patriots he would have a good chance and making it to the Super Bowl...only to play us. Close call?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Cha cha changes

It's a brand new season, and we got a brand new reason. Okay, we don't, it's gonna be the same old stuff, but new and improved! MF and myself have a whole new schedule about to drop on your asses and your all gonna go totally nutz. But don't just take my word for it...da da daa.

Anyways, starting this weekend, you'll all see some totally awesome changes that will take us to the post-Favre era. So strap on your helmet and get your cheese, cuz it's about to get crazy sexy cool up in this joint! What what?

C U soon.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Get me to the Bye alive

I've been trying to come up with a prediction for the Packers this season that I can be confident in. But the lack of a certain quality, a certain Favreness, has me all bamboozled. I like this team pretty much from the Driver to the Lumpkin, which is to say from top to bottom. That's no slight on Lumpkin either, from what I can tell he only lacks experience (well, that and a few dozen Linus and the Great Lumpkin references, but it's just a matter of time, right?), but you've got to produce to get me fired up.

My hesitation on the prediction hinges mostly on the QB spot, for obvious reasons, but in a way that's all right. By most accounts this is a deep team with quality throughout each position. There are questions about each side of the line, but those aren't new and we seemed to do all right last year with many of the same issues. A lot of teams have questions about the QB and they've done ok. Y'know,, hmm....

So... the QB. To be honest I'm not that concerned about Rodgers. That's not really an endorsement though. The only thing I'm certain about with Aaron is his ridiculous and completely awesome devotion to bad facial hair. I love that and support each variation more than the last. I like that the QB can, on occasion, look like an extra on The Fall Guy.

It's not quite Clinton Portis' flair for the dramatic, but in Green Bay it'll do just fine.

I think that, barring serious injury, Rodgers will lead this team to the playoffs. Remember that this team won games last year with special teams, with defense AND with the offense last year. If he can just be average I think this is a ten win team. Of course, if he snaps a bone at any time then we're staring down the barrel of a Daunte Culpepper signing and 10 wins and my lunch are going down the toilet. On the plus side I won't have to listen to John Madden continue his love affair with #4. That's a check mark in the positive column for lunches kept down vs. lunches lost.

I have a lot of questions about how the offense will look. I have concerns about Rodgers' production, Ryan Grant's health, the O-line's quality and the D-line's suddenly depleted depth. But I still like this team. I look around the division and I see two creampuffs and a quality team with no coach or quarterback and I think the North Title is ours to claim. That feels pretty good. So here it goes...
Green Bay Packers 10-6
Minnesota Vikings 9-7
Detroit Lions 7-9
Chicago Bears 6-10