A. Busted making counterfeit Chicago Bears playoff tickets (really should have stopped after, say, week #3).
B. Working really, really effing hard at their "real" jobs.
C. Consoling the single women of Burlington now that we know Tony went for that blonde bimbo Jessica Simpson.
D. Arrested for supposedly "stalking" Jon Kitna. How can it be "stalking" when I was sitting innocently on his driveway and HE nearly ran into ME? Is it so wrong that I wanted to know how Jonny felt about God changing his whole mind on the 10 wins guarantee? By the way, I know that saying God cares about football games is pretty stupid but I think we can all agree he would have to be prominently involved for the Lions to get to double digits in wins right?
Sadly, the true answer is B. But the others were considered. I work in the home loan business and "end of month" and "end of year" are two phrases that basically mean "work through lunch" and "try not to forget the faces of your family." So yeah, basically we suck and we're sorry. So please, give us a break. That means you Butch and Coach Carl and Spoonie Love and all the people who actually sorta miss us when we're too tired and/or lazy to post. Now then, onto the game recap, enough of these shenanigans.
A few notes from this game:
- We need a nickname for Mason Crosby. Sure he sounds like a smooth southern attorney now, but we need something with flair. For his standard kicks I think we can call him "Bing" Crosby. For one thing my PR people say this will help our hit counts with the older folks (hey ma!) and for another it's just sorta fun to yell "Bing!" in an obnoxious manner towards the opposing team's fans. Also, and this is the key to this whole thing, when Mason decides to hit one of those bizarre knuckler, no spin jobs like he did from 46 this week we must, we absolutely must call him "Bada Bing" Crosby. So named for the strip club on the Sopranos. This name is perfect because much like when going to a strip club, when he hits one of those watermelons you feel like you're about to get fucked, but not quite (bye ma! sorry!). It's really perfect when you think about it.
- KoRo, Chuck Wood, Blackmon, Tramon - yeah, they're all pretty good at returning kicks. Isn't it nice to have a special teams unit that legitimately scares the other teams? This team has all sorts of ways it can beat you. That's funtastic.
- Brett Favre now has all the records in the book. Both good and bad. Because dammit, he wanted 'em all. If Brett Favre was a writer on the internets he'd be the opposite of the C&P staff. Heck, you'd have posts every day. I was really happy to see this record setting pass go to Driver. Is there a receiver with more class in the NFL today? I hope he doubles his season TD total against the Bears.
- We're all on a rotation. Rouse rotates in at safety. The CB's shift places so much the other team's QB thinks he's playing Whack-A-Mole. And now Ruvell Martin is in on routes with one WR. I like that we're sort of secretly resting guys but not really. Mike Mac is cagey. I've almost convinced myself all the stupid deep passes in the Dallas game were really just a ruse by Mike so that he wouldn't show Dallas what our real offense is like. Almost.
- Apropos of nothing, if the world was somehow infested with zombies, how long would it take for us to realize Ted Thompson is still "normal" Ted? I say three or four hits with a baseball bat to the noggin before he told us to knock it off. Then he'd sign a fullback off the waiver wire and Mike Vandermouse would be writing about how the guy has a legit shot at the Pro Bowl as an alternate by season's end. Ted's a lot like Stephen Hawking, brilliant mind hidden behind a facade of weakness. Or a facade of a knuckle dragging ogre. Either/or, really.
- Holy shit I just compared Ted Thompson to Stephen Hawking.
- In the past two weeks, against admittedly craptastic teams, the Packers have won by 31 (at home) and 19 (on the road). All season long I've sort of just been thinking that this year is really just a stepping stone to next year's title run. But I'm an idiot. This team has a very strong case that it's the #3 team in the country right now, and number #1 (Patriots) and #2 (Colts) have to fight it out to see who goes to the Bowl.
I'm gonna end on that note. We all know the Cowgirls are still around. We know the O-line needs to solidify what it's doing and the Defense needs to not give up 150 yards on the ground. But wow. This is fun.