I didn't really know what to expect going into this one. Could Dolly Parton convincingly play a smooth talking radio host in the big city of Chicago? Would she be taken seriously with her down home charm, Tennessee drawl and gigantic rack? I had to find out.
7pm - After this on HBO Family I can catch a preview of the just released Firehouse Dog!
7:14pm - I sadly realize that I'll be watching a football game rather than Dolly Parton's chesticles and that no one wants to read a blow by blow diary of Straight Talk. A deep depression comes over me.
8:45 am (Monday) - I give up the ruse that I watched a bad movie from the 80s instead of the game. I accept that losses are part of a season.
8:46 am - I resolve to punch the following people:
Mike McCarthy - For the overly conservative playcalls in the second half. For the terrible use of the challenge flags. For poor clock management at the end of the game.
James Jones - For fumbling twice. If not for those two fumbles it would be reasonable the Packers would have been up 17-0. Although I don't want to punch JJ, Chuck Tillman punched him enough and it didn't go well for us.
Brett Favre - Brilliant most of the night, horrible on the pick to Urlacher.
John Madden - A punch right to the turducken (right above the belt buckle) for this chud. I loved that he said Urlacher was coming on after the interception. Uh, John, it fell into his lap.
Chuck Woodson - For fumbling after a nice punt return.
Nick Barnett - For making a great tackle to force a punt at the end of the game but somehow using the guy's facemask as a jungle gym in the process and giving up 15 yards on the penalty.
Finally I'd like to throw a punch to each team's coach for each penalty they accrued. Man that was ugly. Larry Nemmers the Ref is retiring at the end of the season, apparently he's going out with a bang. It also took him 10 minutes to figure out if 12 men were on the field (there were) and then he made the wrong call. After 10 minutes. Maybe you should shut 'er down right now Lar'.
I'm disaapointed. But we're 4-1, all alone in first place and no one looks like much of a threat. I realize the Bears won last night but there is no question they were the inferior team. This division is ours if we want it. That's a nice feeling. Now if you excuse me I've got some punching to do.
9:05 am - I grow weary of this game. I also have work to do. I'm outta here.