Sunday, September 09, 2007

Nuts to Philly!

This may be misguided and overly simplistic, but it feels right. Most of these comments apply to the sports teams of the greater Philadelphia area rather than the city itself. To the fans of those teams rather than the general citizenry. I realize blanket statements are woefully inadequate, generally wrong and usually lame. Still, it should be noted, I have no sympathy for Philly.

There's this perception that Philadelphia teams deserve our sympathy - probably owing to their general ineptitude at winning actual titles. There's this acceptance that Philly is somehow the underdog because they're not as evil or competent as New York or the New England teams. This is bullshit. What is Philadelphia, the 5th largest market in the country? In the NFL the 4th thanks to L.A.'s continued willingness to sit on the fence and not pick a team.

Yet we're supposed to believe that Philly's fans have suffered. That they deserve a win. That they're outgunned and outclassed. None of these things are really true.

You can't say the fans have really suffered. Their teams are perpetually in it. They can't close the deal but hey, have you looked around lately? Everyone says they're a long suffering fan of various inept franchises. You know why? Cuz only one team gets to win every year. Claiming you're a long suffering fan doesn't make you unique, it makes you average.

You can't say the teams deserve a win either. Philly is the soul sucking end of the earth as far as fandom goes and it's entirely they're fault. They booed Santa Claus and cheered for Michael Irvin's injury. They were the first team to require a jail IN the stadium. Their fans are loud and often incorrect. And no, John Madden, a killer sandwich doesn't make up for all that.

If the NFL were potential hot chicks to date rather than football teams the Eagles would be the last pick taken. If New England is the rich bich with all the money, a brain and a nice body and San Diego is the most beautiful but not very driven then they'd be the girl who is constantly whining, routinely going to third world countries to adopt kids and never once considering what her actions mean to other people. She'd be the wettest of blankets. I mean, at least the girl from Arizona knows she's a loser, so she doesn't bring it up all the time.

You can't say they're outgunned either. They've got superstars at QB, RB and DE. The three biggest impact positions on the roster. They're never left for wanting better players, for needing more money. They've got a new stadium in a huge city. They have nothing to complain about.

So I'm taking this chance to tell all Philly fans to chill the heck out. Enjoy the game. Be happy that your team actually has decent jerseys. Be happy that you're NOT New York. You've got a good team, so stop the bitching.


Green Bay 17 - Philadelphia 13


Anonymous said...

Nice close to right on as you can be without acutally hitting it on the head !!
What a joy to FINALLY see the Special Teams win a game for the packers...and it's a damned good thing they did, because if Green bay had waited for that offensive (what an apt description !) line to open a hole into the end zone--the Eagles would have been the team with the 'W' today.....
The backs did what they could, but until that line can open some holes AND let Favre drop back without getting his head taken off, this has the earmarks of a long stress-filled season

Butch said...

Wow, nice job MF! You nailed this one.

All I have to say about Philly is... 4th and 26. Do we need another reason to hate them?

A very banged-up Giants team next. Go Pack go!