What Up, Dog?

So, the official C&P response for the offseason goings on so far...With a slight twist. MF and Wife have recently acquired a pooch and the little fella is wearing us out. So I'm applying some dog training hints and phrases to our favorite team. Partially because it'll be something different than whatever ESPN cooks up and partially because all I think about is how much cooler life will be when my dog doesn't want to A) bite me B) lick my hands hoping for some samich crumbs or C) eat my wife's shoes.

The Stonewall
When a dog does something you don't approve of like jumping up or whining the owner can't reward the behavior. Punishment doesn't work all that well either (for proof of this just ask yourself whether a speeding ticket has ever cured you of speeding). So we're left with ignoring the dog until it does something good. This applies to Ted Thompson in regards to Robert Ferguson, Bubba Franks and Marquand Manuel. Ol' Ted's not behaving at the moment but I just have to ignore it until he does what I want. Y'know, like draft Greg Olson, cut Fergie and the rest of the Short Armed Peas and convince Marquand that the best thing he can do for the team is to not teach Marviel Underwood anything.

Fetch
A nice little game to wear the little guy out without much effort on the owner's part. Definitely handy for high strung fellows. This one goes out to TT and the Randy Moss Trade Scenario. Ted didn't have to do much but still, those reporters (and superfans) were running all over the place trying to get info. Then bringing it back to Ted who would avoid it and so they'd run back out for more info and come back. And so forth.

The Reward
Hopefully we'll be seeing this one in a couple weeks at the Draft. We haven't done anything wrong this offseason but we haven't done much of anything period. There's the rub. I like the extensions for Cullen, Harris and Barnett. All of them solid with no serious salary cap issues for the future to worry about. Frank Walker seems like he can provide some depth in the back field. These things are all nice, but sometimes the puppy needs more positive reinforcement. I'm looking forward to our first couple of picks at the end of this month. Hopefully it'll be something I can chomp on a while.

No!
To pretty much anything Koren Robinson considers doing that doesn't include eating, drinking (water, natch) and sleeping.