Sunday, April 29, 2007

Well, that was fun

I'm trying to decide what the Draft should be compared to. Watching it all is nearly impossible. Watching it all on ESPN IS absolutely impossible. I mean, we're all fans, we all say stupid stuff about our teams and coaches and GM's right? So how come Mel and Boomer and the gang get paid big time cash to say things that we all say over a beer at the bar every Friday night? It's not like they class it up or break down film. But anyway, I don't really know why I'm ranting about the ESPN guys, I was watching the Draft on the NFL network.

I don't know what it says about this country of ours that there needs to be two, count 'em two, stations broadcasting the flipping draft. I just know it's necessary. ESPN is such a parody of itself nowadays that they probably should be forced to just follow regional sports with minimal interest. Y'know, like the NBA.

Mike Mayock, Mooch, Marshall Faulk and Rich Eisen broke down the draft with quite a bit of the normal "smoke up the ass" that ESPN employs. But they also broke down on film why a guy was good at certain things. Like mentioning that our first round pick still had both arms despite tearing his biceps. Then, next thing you know there he is on screen with both arms and everything.

I'll be breaking down the picks as we go along here, we have the time, but like most people I'm confused and don't know what we've got. I wouldn't have put DT as a primary position of need but I can't really complain about trying to improve the defense. The most important thing to remember is that with the draft there's no telling what you're going to get. Just because I didn't hear of our 1st pick BEFORE the draft doesn't mean he won't bring anything to the table.

I will say this though, I'm not bummed out on losing Marshawn Lynch after seeing that photo of him on the NFL Network. I mean, wow. I wasn't sure if Buffalo had drafted Lynch or Tyrone Biggums from Chappelle's show.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Restart the Clock

So I'm a little bummed today. Maybe it's the steady drizzle of rain that's doing it. Maybe it's that this is perfect napping weather but if I lay down I think of all the stuff I could be doing. Mostly I think that the Draft is this Saturday.

I know, it's something to look forward to, and I am, but it's almost like I have a premature case of buyer's remorse. I'm not so concerned with who we will draft. I like to make fun of Ted Thompson because he looks like a Madame Tussaud wax figure if they made characters for things like "Definition of Befuddled" or "If I couldn't speak but needed to convey to you that I had recently taken a dump in my pants I would make this face!" But it should be noted that I think Ted does a good job in the draft, he just looks silly while he does it.

I realized recently that really the Draft doesn't answer anything for us. It just restarts the clock. We have this week to daydream about very large men fulfilling their dreams. After that though, we're back to waiting again. Sure there are mini-camps and training camp and random quotes from scouts saying that our 5th round pick is a steal and our 2nd rounder has "poor hip swivel" or some other nonsense. But all these things are a poor substitute for the real games.

Maybe this wouldn't matter if I could get into other sports. But I can't. The NHL and the NBA are a joke. It's just football and baseball (and y'know, the wife and dog and work and friends and family, I suppose that should be mentioned) for this kid. So I pay attention to the draft. I plan on watching the first day festivities and thanks to the power of Tivo I plan on catching the highlights of day two. It's all I've got.

So while there's a very real letdown after all of this is said and done I'm still happy to go through with it. It's something. It's new. And of course, this draft gives all the fans a chance to dream about surprising people and winning it all. It may not be realistic, but it's possible, and that's all I need.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

What Up, Dog?

So, the official C&P response for the offseason goings on so far...With a slight twist. MF and Wife have recently acquired a pooch and the little fella is wearing us out. So I'm applying some dog training hints and phrases to our favorite team. Partially because it'll be something different than whatever ESPN cooks up and partially because all I think about is how much cooler life will be when my dog doesn't want to A) bite me B) lick my hands hoping for some samich crumbs or C) eat my wife's shoes.

The Stonewall
When a dog does something you don't approve of like jumping up or whining the owner can't reward the behavior. Punishment doesn't work all that well either (for proof of this just ask yourself whether a speeding ticket has ever cured you of speeding). So we're left with ignoring the dog until it does something good. This applies to Ted Thompson in regards to Robert Ferguson, Bubba Franks and Marquand Manuel. Ol' Ted's not behaving at the moment but I just have to ignore it until he does what I want. Y'know, like draft Greg Olson, cut Fergie and the rest of the Short Armed Peas and convince Marquand that the best thing he can do for the team is to not teach Marviel Underwood anything.

A nice little game to wear the little guy out without much effort on the owner's part. Definitely handy for high strung fellows. This one goes out to TT and the Randy Moss Trade Scenario. Ted didn't have to do much but still, those reporters (and superfans) were running all over the place trying to get info. Then bringing it back to Ted who would avoid it and so they'd run back out for more info and come back. And so forth.

The Reward
Hopefully we'll be seeing this one in a couple weeks at the Draft. We haven't done anything wrong this offseason but we haven't done much of anything period. There's the rub. I like the extensions for Cullen, Harris and Barnett. All of them solid with no serious salary cap issues for the future to worry about. Frank Walker seems like he can provide some depth in the back field. These things are all nice, but sometimes the puppy needs more positive reinforcement. I'm looking forward to our first couple of picks at the end of this month. Hopefully it'll be something I can chomp on a while.

To pretty much anything Koren Robinson considers doing that doesn't include eating, drinking (water, natch) and sleeping.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Don't look back in anger

Making fun of the Bears can only get you so far in life, so it's time to take a look back at my other most hated teams, the Vikings. I found a great clip on YouTube of a classic moment in Vikings history.

The Vikings played the Washington Redskins in the NFC Championship Game on January 17, 1988, at RFK Stadium. Trailing 17-10, the Vikings drove to the Redskins' 6-yard line with a little over a minute left in the game but failed to get the ball into the end zone. Darren Nelson dropped a pass from Wade Wilson at the goal line to officially end the Vikings' hopes of a Super Bowl.

Lots of classic Vikings on this one, including my favorite, Bud Grant. Notice how the Vikings uniforms were a lot better looking then...even though they wore purple. Purple, I hate purple.

Go Vikings!

Monday, April 02, 2007

This is a test...

This is a test of the emergency superfan system. Anyone reading a Packer website on Opening Day for baseball (a day that should be a national holiday if there is a just God) would be included in the Superfan System Search.

Anyone reading a Packer website during the climax of March Madness (er, April Madness...dammit people let's make sure our catchphrases match up with our schedules huh?) is included in the Superfan database.

Anyone reading a Packer website that has been spotty at best in posts in the past few weeks would also qualify for Superfan status.

Truth be told Superfan status is actually pretty easy to acquire. A guy wearing a Packers hat AND a Packers shirt or any other second clothing item would qualify. Anyone wearing these items AND Packers-themed Zubaz from 1987 or so is automatically crowned King of all Superfans. Regrettably it is a hotly contested throne.

Anywho, as we near the draft at the end of this month we'll be cycling up our Packer coverage (and also Packer make-believe coverage...obviously). We're pretty geeked about it. So, to all you Superfans out there thanks for keeping your pants on (Zubaz...again, obviously). The women and children of America thank you for your patience with the whole pants thing. Mostly the children.

For tonight, enjoy those other sports. Baseball's 6 shades of awesome. Basketball isn't. But hey I like the college kids so I'll cut 'em some slack.

I don't have cable

Okay, I don't have cable, I don't watch TV, so sometimes I'm a little out of the loop. But here is some more Bear bashing for you, mostly because I can't stand seeing Bears and Bear fans all over the world. They drive me nuts! I live in L.A., and I never saw any Bear fans until a few months ago. Talk about bandwagon fans. Gimme a break here!

Anyways, here is a great video that someone posted about Rex Grossman. It's was recorded before the Super Bowl, and it's about 6 minutes. Check it out if you got the time.