Friday, December 15, 2006

Matt Millen

When you go to a bar in the upper midwest you are virtually guaranteed to see a group of Packer fans, a group of Bears fans, and some misguided souls wearing blonde braids cheering on the Vikings. It's pretty much automatic from the Dakotas all the way over to Ohio. The one thing you'll rarely see is a group of Lions fans. Sure there may be one sad sack sitting on the end of the bar, his 'stache covered in coors light or some other chick beer, wearing a bobby layne jersey. But that's about it right?

Every football fan has a story about the greatness of Barry Sanders don't they? Some wow moment from your childhood. Kids who are now adults trying to do a spin move of his in the parking lot. He had universal appeal? You wanna know why? Because it's easy to cheer for an amazing talent when you're not concerned about losing to his team. The Lions were always entertaining, rarely lethal. If you doubt this, just ask yourself how you feel about Emmitt Smith. A man of far less talents but with the luck of playing for a team that had the good sense to rip off the Vikings and go win a couple titles with their draft picks.

So now here we are today. The hapless Lions are coming to Green Bay. Even a 1-5 home record can't dampen my mood. This is a win. Chalk it up. And I'm guessing no one in Michigan or beyond will care. It's hard to find a team with less personality than the Vikings but the Lions somehow manage to do it every single year. It's a sort of genius I guess.

Matt Millen still has his job despite going 23-70. Read that record again. Sweet greasy donuts, that's just terrible. I'm trying to think of how bad I would have to be at my job to match that sort of failure. I'm fairly confident I would have to spill coffee on my boss's crotch daily, hang up on clients mid-sentence AND occassionally get drunk at work and hit on prospective new investors while they toured the facility. Something tells me I would get fired before I could do the corresponding dance to my hit version of "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" at the quarterly sales meeting.

If any of you out there drive a Ford you may want to ask yourself how safe you are. I mean, the Fords run this franchise and allow this sort of incompetence for years. I'm just saying it's a red flag. That's all.

Anywho, I'm looking at 6-8 this week. It's not much but it'll do for now.

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