Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Long View

I must say this season is not getting to me in quite the same way that it seems to be getting to other Packer fans. What I don't understand is why. Did anyone think we were going to win the NFC north this year? Sure that's the goal, but did you really think that was realistic?

I don't know what I think of Mike III and his staff. I don't know why I haven't seen him comment on the secondary's weekly penchant for blowing coverages. I don't know why the play of the safeties hasn't been discussed more thoroughly. But I do know this. Mike II wasn't going to win any championships so he had to go.

Staying with a guy because you haven't discovered anyone better is a great way to stay mediocre. There are many examples of this every year in pro and college sports. If you can't think of any you're not trying. So is Mike III the best coach for the job? I don't know. But I do know I'd rather go with an unknown than stick with a proven mediocrity.

I think the coaching staff has cost us a game or two this year, specifically at Buffalo and last Monday against Seattle. That's nothing new. Most coaches blow a few games every year. That's just part of the job and only a small handful of guys really know the art of play calling and how to use momentum. I've seen glimpses that show Mike III does get it (see: throwing the ball late against Minnesota to preserve the victory) and the examples above showing that he still doesn't trust himself fully.

The schedule gets easier now. Gone are the preseason superbowl picks like New England and Seattle. What we have left should give us a good idea of where we're at. The team is clearly not in the upper echelon. A good team will beat this Packers squad every day of the week and twice on Sunday (at least that's what that 35-donut job against the Pats felt like). They are no longer among the worst in the league however. The Packers have handled the bad teams on their schedule as they should.

With 5 weeks remaining we face the Jets, 49ers, Lions, Vikings and the Bears. Only the Bears can claim to have an obvious advantage in talent or coaching ability. I don't think Lovie Smith is a great coach mind you, he's just not a rookie or 2nd year guy like the rest of our opponents. Also, that Bears game will be the last of the year and they will have had the division and homefield advantage wrapped up well before that time.

All of these games are winnable for this Packers team. Due to youth and what I've seen out of the coaching staff I would not be surprised if we dropped 1 or 2 games though. That being said we're looking at 7-9 or 8-8. I can live with that this year. I realize that 8-8 is the definition of mediocrity, but I also know the expectations this year were 4-5 wins.

Can this team close strong? Can the o-line get everyone healthy and show some improvement (they were improving before Tauscher and Clifton got dinged up)? Can the defensive staff finally man up and fire Kurt Schottenheimer? We shall see. I don't know what's going to happen. That's why I'm excited. I always knew what we'd get out of Mike II, and it wasn't enough.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Golden Mullet Awards-Seahags

disappointing performance. With as many opportunities as we had, we really threw the game away. Hasslebeck was trying to give us the game, and we still wouldn't take it. So let's see how we did with the Golden Mullets.


Favre never really go into a roll, and then started heaving the ball like last year. I blame the coach.


They didn't do Favre any favors, although Driver had a nice touchdown run.

Running Back

Green scored a touchdown, seemed okay the rest of the game. I think Alexander took most of our rushing yards. He's ugly.


They had some great turnovers, but couldn't stop the rush if they had too, and they had too.

Special Teams

Missed field goal wasn't our fault, but I don't care. They sucked.


Next time prepare for the game. Isn't that suppose to be a given?

12th Man

You've got a Super Bowl caliber team, and history so sad that you had to retire a fake number. What do those two things have in common? Nothing, except you can make all the noise in the world, but if you don't win the big ones, does anyone every listen?

Does it still matter that we beat them last year? You bettcha! I was at that game and I got to yell all sorts of fun stuff as I sat behind the Seattle bench. So there.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Packer Gameday: Green Bay (4-6) at Seattle (6-4)

Monday Night Football with Theismann, Patrick and Kornheiser announcing. We've got a nice sleet/snow mix going here. And in case you wonder why "live blogging" means "posting with 45 seconds left in the game" I would like to point out that my wife needed the computer for her job and I needed it for a non-income producing hobby. So... I lost.

The MNF intro has a beautiful woman walking to the camera. All you see are hips. She's what my streetwise, city-livin' friends would call "thick". To no one's surprise they pan up to reveal Beyonce. She's purty.

Kornheiser speaks for 19 straight minutes about Favre and the game and maybe something about the weather and I can't really say anymore because he's still going strong and at this point I'm practicing my "shield throw" as Captain America on a game I don't own (Marvel Ultimate Alliance) on a system I don't own (Nintendo Wii). So both of us are kinda maxing out on doing pointless stuff that bores people. I have a wife by the way.

Suzy Kolber (kiss me) mentions that Seattle is missing their starting Center and Right Tackle. Between the two teams we have 12 linemen missing or something. I dunno, I'm fuzzy with the numbers.

Here's a thinker! Who the hell signs up to be a "fan" while Hank Williams pretends to play the "are you ready for some football" song? Even with Joe Perry, Little Richard, Silvio from the Sopranos and many more I still would have a hard time attending that gig. I don't know if I'd put that on the ol' acting resume. No way those are just regular people. They have to be getting paid. Also, how weird would it be to go from backing up Bruce Springsteen for real to doing 5 seconds in a backing band for Hank as he sings a tv theme song? Artistically speaking, Silvio is falling apart quicker than a play designed for Robert Ferguson. Bada Bing!

1st Quarter

14:12 - Chuck Woodson picks Hasselbeck off. The pass was "deflected" by Ryan Pickett's face for the easy interception. We start around the 25 but it's hard to tell with all the snow on the ground.

12:42 - Ahman goes off left tackle for 6 yards and a touchdown. That kinda rocked.

By the way, Theismann mentioned that because of the snow this will be like a home game for the Packers. Two things - one, we're 1-4 at Lambeau this year so that's not good and two, at home the fans don't create a roar so that you can't hear while you're calling plays. Also, during the commercial we were treated to Pearl Jam bumper music, the space needle and a Starbucks showing. Wow, I feel like I know everything there is to know about Seattle now.

10:35 -
Al Harris cuts off a route and picks Hasselbeck off for the second time in the game. I'd mention where this happened on the field but I have no idea. A little help with the snow fellas? Dr. Z's gonna complain that I'm not marking the ball correctly.

By the way, anyone who got that Dr. Z joke is either a total football junkie or has a boring job like me.

The teams trade drives and look kinda sad doing it. With :38 seconds left in the quarter Bubba can't make a grab in the end zone but Kelly Herndon can. Dagnabbit. Unfortunately he plays for the Seahawks.

2nd Quarter

14:54 - Chuck Woodson, feeling sheepish about catching a tipped ball for his first INT, goes out and earns one by jumping a route. We're on the 25 of Seattle (I think).

14:41 - Ahman goes off left tackle for 14. They like that left side tonight. No huddle. Crap. I can't type that fast. Okay, 2 yard gain off left tackle again for Ahman.

13:12 - Third and goal from the 9 and they run the ball again? WTF?

13:05 - Justice is served. Rayner's FG attempt is blocked. I hate seeing us giving up points but we deserved that after that nutless playcall on third down. Fortune smiles on the bold Mike III, not on those who call three dives off left tackle with a Hall of Famer at QB.

8:36 - Seattle drives for a FG. At some point, probably earlier, they kicked a FG as well. That "probably earlier" comment was a joke as that's the only time it could have occurred. Just thought I'd clear that up for any Bears or Vikings fans reading along. GREEN BAY 7 - SEATTLE 6.

The Packers perform another ugly series with 2 more dives to the left and then a flare pass that misses Driver. Awesome. At least Jimmy Kimmel was in the booth for an interview to brighten my mood.

3:34 -
Another Seattle drive. Another FG. Another long look at the liquor cabinet.

3:23 - Another run to the left for 2 yards. Other than a couple plays early we've run for 2 yards to the left like 19 times in a row. Is this some PS3 version of Madden I'm watching and it's got a glitch? Is the real game on ESPN2?

2:37 - Favre gets hit as he throws and ends another lame offensive series. On the plus side two yuppies are trying to sort out who got a Lexus for Christmas on my tv. Am I the only one who starts to sweat thinking that their wife bought a freaking Lexus and didn't bother to mention anything? What if I bought her something practical like a yacht or a small spanish-speaking country for Christmas and didn't tell her too? The overdraft fees would be barbaric I tells ya'. Where's the communication? Sure we'd laugh about it later but man, who the heck buys a really expensive car for Christmas? Particularly one with no style.

1:55 - KGB hits Hasselbeck as he throws causing a little wounded duck pass. Which promptly lands in Abdul Hodge's arms. 30 yard return for a TD. Welcome to the starting lineup rookie! GREEN BAY 14 - SEATTLE 9.

:28 - Another long kick return and a quick little drive by Seattle. Their drives are really boring affairs. Mostly because they start on the dang 50 yard line half the time and they only kick field goals. There goes another one. GREEN BAY 14 - SEATTLE 12.

3rd Quarter

12:39 - Donald Driver jumpstarts the offense with a 5 yard slant that he turns into a 48 yard TD. I replayed it on tivo and you can just sort of hear angels singing while he runs. GREEN BAY 21 - SEATTLE 12.

11:11 - Make a wish. If you wished for a safety to make a play you are a winner! Marquand Manuel stops by to make a play. He drills Jerramy Stevens to force a drop of what would have been a 30 yard pass on third down. Okay, that's one play Marquand. Now do it again.

6:19 - After two questionable calls go against us DJ Hackett catches a TD over the middle. I'm not blaming the refs, players have to play through that stuff, but it's still annoying. GREEN BAY 21 - SEATTLE 19.

5:29 - Okay, if there was a drinking game that required you to take a drink for every Packer run off left tackle tonight I might be dead. I'd certainly be hammered and there's a 60% chance that I would be living in a mobile home park in Reno... and pregnant. And I'm all man so you can imagine the type of drunkenness it would take to reach that state.

:57 - Okay, 4th and 1 for Seattle on the GB 20. They of course pick it up easily with a dive play to the fullback. Awesome. Also, AJ Hawk was offsides. Double Awesome. You can't get any more awesome without Mr. T being involved.

4th Quarter

14:11 - Darrell Jackson makes a pretty catch in the back corner of the end zone for a TD. Jerramy Stevens, who so believes in over-complication that he spells his normal name abnormally, catches the 2 point conversion as well. GREEN BAY 21 - SEATTLE 27.

12:45 - It's 3rd and 2. Big play. We need some sort of answer. Driver over the middle for 34. That'll do pig, that'll do.

12:12 - Another run to the left. Somebody stage a damn intervention! Seriously! If the drinking game was still going on I not only would still be living in Reno but I would be 47, have 2 kids from different mothers and I'd spend most of my time trying to convince the bagboy at the grocery store that Evan Williams whiskey is just as good as Jack Daniels. Knock it off!

10:54 - Perhaps because we are only playing with 2 downs thanks to our patented "waste one play of every series going off left tackle for 1-2 yards" we have to kick a Figgie. GREEN BAY 24 - SEATTLE 27.

10:41 - Seattle has 491 return yards tonight. They're starting on the 50 or so... Again.

10:15 - 3rd and 9 on the 50. Huge play right here. Cullen Jenkins bursts through the middle and hits Hasselbeck as he throws. No completion. Great stop by the D! And the refs call CJ for roughing the passer. The passer was not roughed in any way. Even Joe Freaking Theismann can figure that out! That was a terrible call. A go home and quit your reffing career kind of call. You're a reffing idiot you stupid reffer! Ref this!

9:08 - Pickett gets held but there's no call. Jerramy Stevens drops the pass. But c'mon, that's two obvious blown calls by the reffing morons. That 10 yard penalty would move the 'Hawks out of FG range and they haven't moved the ball without the reffing idiots help on this drive. Gah!

8:44 - Nick Collins pulls a hammy trying to tackle Shaun Alexander. Tyrone Culver is in. Whoever had "4th Quarter" in the office pool for when the Pack would blow the coverage for a TD has to be feeling 6 shades of awesome right now.

6:13 - Jerramy Stevens catches a TD in the back of the end zone. That entire drive was assisted by the refs. It won't be the reason why the Packers lost this game but man, it sure didn't help. GREEN BAY 24 - SEATTLE 34.

The rest of the game is a steady rotation of three and outs forced by the Defense and Interceptions thrown by Favre. Not our best effort. But at least there was effort this week. We could have stolen this one but the playcall on offense was terrible. I'm still waiting to be impressed by a Bob Sanders defensive effort as well and we're 11 weeks in.

On the plus side I did have this chalked up as a loss going in so I can't say I'm heartbroken. I'm not big on moral victories but I am big on being competitive. The Packers were tonight. We've got 4 winnable games to close out the year remaining. The home fans deserve to see some wins at Lambeau too. Hopefully we'll see it happen. I'm going to bed.

Hey Kids

Tonight, for the first time ever, I'll be trying to do a live blog of the game as it happens. Or, I suppose, shortly after it happens depending on how long it takes for me to come up with something witty. So if you're by a computer and a tv don't forget to pop in. I'll be checking comments and whatnot so it should be fairly entertaining.

I've got that odd tingle in my belly that makes me think we might be able to steal one tonight. I don't know why. It's entirely possible that I overdosed on stuffing and pumpkin pie and that tingling is just a hole in my stomach. I don't think we should win this game but I think we might. 9 out of 10 doctors would call that kind of thinking "crazy" but that's why I always check out all 10. You search long enough you're bound to find someone who feels the same way you do.

I'll see you tonight, or not, if you're not into that sort of thing.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Golden Mullet Awards-Pats

I know it's a bit late with these...and we're looking ahead to beating the Seahawks...but hopefully Ted Tompson will look these over before he plans his next game plan.


Horrible. Favre gets hurt...misses the end of the game. Rogers comes in to save the day, gets hurt for the rest of the year. Time to draft a new quarterback.

Horrible. Donald who? Oh, and I still hate you Walker for selling out!

Running Back

Horrible. Stop wasting my time.



Special Teams

Missed field goal....Horrible.


Nice job getting the team ready for the biggest game of the year. Where's Sherman?

Patriot Fans

Six years ago they didn't exist, give them a few more and they won't anymore.

And my Turkey of the Year award goes to......

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Packer-Patriot Game, AKA the "grab your ankles" game

Well the game was terrible and I don't know what to say about it. I'm at a loss. My normally positive, longterm outlook hasn't changed because, well, that's the deal with a longterm outlook. Short term issues and small sample sizes don't really impact a longterm outlook. That being said, I'm a little tired of the "try hard for two games then take a game off" theme we've developed this year.

Is it game planning? Even in losses I've liked the offensive play calling of Mike III this year so I don't think that's it. Motivation? I don't know. The players seem like they care, they just also seem like they just woke up from a nap. This is the pros so I expect effort every week, and thanks to non-guaranteed contracts, that's what I usually get. But man, that was ugly.

I'm sorry I'm not my usual witty self today. I just can't seem to get going. Maybe the team's crappiness is starting to get to me. It's like a virus and all across the country there are other bloggers/siters with a weird cough today that we'll all try to dismiss. A week from now, after cross-country travel for Thanksgiving, we'll have afflicted the masses. Even non-Packer fans will suffer. Everyone with a soul will eventually fold under the pain of the sickness the Packers have infected us with, so all that will be left are Cowboys fans, as they clearly have no soul.

I just...I...ah...son of a bitch!

Sorry folks, MF Pack's brain just couldn't take it anymore. I'm J.L. Acme and I'll be finishing the column. I don't normally do this sort of thing so I don't really know what to do here...hmmm. This could suck.

I guess I'lL just try to go over everything Like MF would have wanted. I can't beLieve Rodgers is out for the Year. That's just not cooL. And what the heck is going on with the L's and Y's I'm tYping here? WhY are theY in caps? I'LL have to have mY keYboard checked after this post.

WeLL this is just Lame. I'm doing a terribLe job fiLLing in and there's something wrong with me now. Wait, it's not me, it's everYone eLse. I'm just so excited to be posting for once that I want to keep going. Plus, the onLY other person in the office is a guY named IngLe, and You don't want to see him trYing to post right? FrankLY I think I'd be doing better if BLogger wouLd figure out the issues with posting. Or maYbe it's the server, did You think of that? Who's getting served now? Huh? Huh? This keYboard can kiss me Young, unproven ass! What do You think of that? Gah! You guYs all suck, You're making me Look bad! Like Majikman couLd do better? Or CorneLL J? I've got no support!

I'm sure at this point everyone reading this hates JL Acme. In the past you could pretend that maybe I would retire and JL would take over and we'd have some youth and vigor on this site but that dream is now on the shelf. If only I could compare it to something a Packer fan would understand. Ah well.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Slight Da Parture

By the request of Packra the She Packer, I will post the Golden Mullets on Thursday. Today you are in for a special treat. Don Majkowski playing the guitar in someone's basement. Watch and enjoy.

Monday, November 20, 2006

A Slight Departure

Typically on Mondays (or Sunday nights) I recount the previous day's game and try to add some commentary or whatnot. For many reasons, this will not be possible today. The Majikman came to town and for a brief period there was discussion about going to the game in Green Bay. As we're based 7 hours to the west it's not a small undertaking. It's actually a total pain in the assmar, piggy.

But we considered it nonetheless. The logistics were hammered out. We would leave Sunday morning around 5 am. Layers of clothing were considered. Do I want to go t-shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, sweatshirt then jacket? Maybe another spiffy, space age fiber shirt to lock the body heat in?

Finally we discussed the acquisition of tickets. There were some in the camp that felt we could get scalped tickets for $50 outside the stadium, but only on a certain side of the field, and no, none of us had ever actually seen tickets at that price before. One of us had in fact failed to find the person even though a good friend swore they were there in the past.

Skepticism came rolling in. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't pay $50 to watch a game at Lambeau? We started to doubt our trip. Then Majikman's flight was delayed and it became more of a scheduling issue. We scrapped the idea. We decided to all get together and watch the game at my place, drink some Leinie's and whatnot. But then things changed.

Instead of the game all we got was some guy who looked like Captain Freedom from The Running Man on our screen. And that man came through the tv screen and, for the next 3 and a half hours, proceeded to punch us in the pants. Repeatedly. We didn't hear about the game until hours later, when our vision returned to us (it must be said that Captain Freedom is a fantastic puncher of pants).

Like good Packer fans we did try to listen for the game even in our weakened state but I think Subzero sat on our heads and muffled out the sound. I have no way of confirming this but we did notice that all the chips and dips and chicken wings and whatnot were all eaten and I know Captain Freedom was pretty consistent in his punching so it wasn't him. Also my Donald Driver jersey smells like a hockey goalie's used glove.

So I can't really comment on the 35-0 drubbing the Packers took yesterday. I can't comment on the fact that I'm wearing black in honor of the tendon or nerve in Favre's arm that got hurt yesterday. I can't comment on why this team can look like a fringe playoff team with a plan one week (see Miami or Minnesota) and yet has completely mailed it in 3 times this year. I can say this though, if given the choice between being assaulted by characters from a movie nobody remembers from 25 years ago OR watching that game, I'll take the punch in the pants. And that pretty much says it all.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Our Ten Year Anniversary

This week we are playing the Patriots in our home jerseys for the first time since we last beat them in the Super Bowl, 10 years ago. At that time, it seemed like The Pack would go on to win so many more, but, it was not to be. Instead it was the Patriots that came back a few years later and still have not left their winning ways.

So they come to Lambeau this week favored and ready for an easy win. Come on now Pack, let's get back to .500 and turn this season around.

In case you jumped the bandwagon in 95 and never got back on, here is a tribute video that Jeff Query found more me on YouTube about the Super Bowl. He claims he played in it, but I swear he's thinking of Don Beebe.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Letters to Skippy: Midseason Questions

For those of you who don't know - Skippy was Dan Devine's Dog. He was killed by a neighbor in '72 for messing with ducks that he should not have been messing with. Devine reported to TIME magazine that angry fans of the team had killed his dog out of spite in a '74 interview and the legend stuck. For a thorough recounting of the story I implore you to check out

The spirit of Skippy lives on and, in an effort to better establish inter-spiritual relations, has graciously accepted a post with answering emails from our readers. It should also be noted that Skippy has been working hard to improve his typing skills since the initial offering. So keep your eyes peeled for Skippy the typing dog!

Hey Skip!
I've been writing every week but you must be awfully busy I guess huh? I've got more questions for you about our favorite team. What do you think of coach McCarthy's reign so far? He's 4-5 and beaten the Vikings but lost to the Bears. Do you think we have a shot with him at the helm? Maybe not this year but down the road?

Bob from Pequot Lakes

Happy panting.

What do you think about McCarthy's comments about Favre playing another two years? I also saw that Rodgers was preparing to sit for another 2 years on the bench. Do you think all this sitting will ultimately help the young guy out when he does play? Or are we just letting a 1st round pick rot on the bench? What kind of trade value could we get for him? Now that Al Davis is insane couldn't we get 9 guys for him at least?

Jerry from Oconomowoc


(We don't skimp here at C&P, he got both kibbles AND bits. In general it should be noted that Skippy tends to eat when he wishes to convey that only a total moron would trade that many players for one guy. So unless the Vikings are involved no, this isn't likely.)

We need your help. Do you know Kurt Schottenheimer's dog? We need an inside man.


We're not going to hurt the dog. We want the dog to maybe lead him into the woods hunting and get him lost for a few months or something. Is that so hard?

Marie from the U.P.

Happy panting. Playful bark.

I will continue to beat your team every time we play. I hate you. I hate all dogs, small children, old people, and apple pie.

Lovie from Chicago

Grrrr. (typing) gO flergl yousElf!!!!!

.......and that's it for this edition of Letters to Skippy. You keep on sending them and we'll have Skippy reply.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Friday Night Blitz

Our friends over at Make Out City Studios have just finished another football spot using old electric football men. This one doesn't make the Vikings look bad like they did before, sadly,but it does show football in it's most innocent form...animated.

They did this for an opening of a program called Friday Night Blitz, which I guess is a High School and College football highlight show.

And don't forget to check out our newly updated MOVIES page to the left, where we have our own produced videos as well some of our favorites from around the web.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Golden Mullet Awards-Minnesota

Minnesota Nice...You Betcha! What a win that was. There is no team that I hate more than the Vikings, although the Bears and the Broncos come close, the Vikings take the cake. Sadly, it has become harder to hate them because they just don't have the same annoying cast that they've had for so long. No Moss, no Tice, and no Daunte. What they have now is an overrated coach and a bunch of ex-Packers. Speaking of which, I still want to stab you Javon Walker you sellout.

Okay, now to the Golden Mullets.


Two touchdowns, no picks...and a bazillion yards. Simply the best.


Everyone showed up, and Driver was almost like Sterling Sharpe ou there.

Running Backs

Not many yards, but just enough to keep the defense kinda honest.


They kept the Vikings quiet except for the Ahman Carrol type touchdown play.

Special Teams

Solid enough.


You got a win in the Humpty Dump, that's amazing.

Sid Hartman

Why is he still around?

Viking Fans

Now please.....shut the hell up!

That was a great game, let's be honest here. The Pack is on the way up, and the Vikings are on the way down. We got some tough games ahead, but if we come out with some wins....see you in Miami!

I'm sure everyone has seen highlights by now...except me I don't have cable....but here are some more from the Packer Viking game.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Packer Game Day: Green Bay (3-5) at Minnesota (4-4)

I've always had this anxiety when the Packers have played in the Humpty Dump of Minnesota in the past. Mostly because the Vikings had actual talent on their roster. As I settled in to watch today's game I realized I have nothing to fear. This is not the Vikings of the past that had talent but no organization. This team has organization in spades, but no talent. This should be fun.

I've invited my Dad and Mom down to watch the game today. Dad's been a half-hearted Vikings fan for a long time. He doesn't love 'em, he actually kinda hates 'em, but he watches all their games. Mom isn't partial to either team. But she is highly likely to laugh happily after Favre makes a play and then dances around like a little boy on Christmas morning.

Kenny Albert and Brian Baldinger will be announcing today's games. Hopefully they won't spend a lot of time showing the guys in the booth because Baldinger looks insane. His eyes seem like they're staring right through the camera, through the satellite, through my screen and into my soul. Albert seems okay though.

1st Quarter

14:42 - The Vikings are starting two rookies in the secondary with Smoot out of town. Cedric Griffin at corner and Greg Blue as the strong safety. They also have the league leading run defense. I'm no coach but I might try chucking it up a couple times today.

13:44 - Both teams start off with 3 and outs. Puntfest 2006 is on!

7:15 - Ahman Green bursts up the middle for what looks like a first down. We should have 1st and goal from the 1 or so. But instead the refs mark the ball back a good 2 feet and we now have 3rd and inches. We predictably get stuffed for a loss on the next play. That was a terrible spot. I'm kinda happy we didn't challenge it though, that would be sending a bad message to the team. "Look fellas, you were lucky to get down there so I'm not giving up a foot." Rayner Figgie. GREEN BAY 3 - MINNESOTA 0.

6:29 - Brady Poppinga bursts through and crushed Vikes QB Brad Johnson. The ball goes flying and Corey Williams falls down on it. Let's take a moment to feel for the football here, he just had Corey land on him. Okay, now we're good to go. We have the ball on the 22 of Minnesota!

5:34 - Ahman has two nice runs for 19 yards total. We're on the Vikings 6 and it's 1st and goal.

5:00 - Third and 1. This is a big play. Two field goals doesn't send much of a message.

3:50 - Noah Freaking Herron gets nailed for a loss. Third down coming up. Please don't let Noah run the ball anymore!

3:34 - See? He's much better as a receiver out of the backfield. Herron catches a little swing pass from Favre and dives into the end zone for the TD. GREEN BAY 10 - MINNESOTA 0.

Well this is going nicely.

2:37 - In a sign of solidarity with the defense, Travis Taylor makes a catch on 3rd and 8 and picks up 7 yards and then falls down 1 yard short. Nice to see them giving up so quickly. Brad "Chili" Childress is nonplussed (surprise!) and goes for it on 4th and 1 from his own 39. This is either a brilliant move to fire up his team or the obvious signs of desperation. They get the first down but man, talk about sending your team the wrong message.

2nd Quarter

14:52 - The Vikings string together a drive somehow. It's not much of one really, they had 2 first downs and then Al Harris decides he's in zone and the safety doesn't agree with him and we give up yet another blown coverage TD. 40 yards from Brad Johnson to Billy McMullen. Yeesh. That was the exact same play we had against Buffalo last week. Hey Kurt Schottenheimer, Fuck you! GREEN BAY 10 - MINNESOTA 7.

11:34 - Quote from my dad, apropos of nothing. "When it comes to bacon and eggs the chicken is involved but the pig is committed."

7:50 - Another ugly Minnesota drive. How do these guys ever score? I mean, other than blown coverages? Billy McMullen officially changes his name to Johnny on the Spot with a fumble recovery in the end zone. GREEN BAY 10 - MINNESOTA 14.

4:20 - Hopefully nothing much has happened. I'm eating lunch here so you're kind of on your own.

:49 - Driver splits the seam on a little 10 yard pass and goes for 82 yards. I'm wearing his jersey today despite my non-WR approved body and he's got 150 yards and a game breaking TD so far. I should wear it more often I guess. GREEN BAY 17 - MINNESOTA 14.

3rd Quarter

14:46 - Artose Pinner (or something) makes an illegal block in the back and prevents a Kick Return TD for the Vikes. Nice to see Mr. Pinner got the check we sent him this week.

12:19 - In what surely was not an indication that the block in the back was a weak call the Packers get flagged 3 times on one penalty on their kick return. Very subtle Mr. Referee. Very subtle.

9:09 - AJ Hawk splits two blockers and sacks Brad Johnson. The defense is really getting after old Garden Hose Johnson today. It's got to be rough. He has no arm strength and an incredibly expensive O-line that doesn't bother to protect him too.

The graphic lets us know that AJ's favorite movie is Top Gun. Remind me not to play beach volleyball with AJ.

5:30 - Greg Jennings (he lives!) makes a big catch for a third down, and then laterals to Donald Driver as he's being tackled. Driver, being the finest receiver of all time, runs 30 yards with it. Are we sure Jennings is a rookie? He didn't change his name did he? Like maybe he was Amani Toomer (it's not a toomah!) or something?

4:40 - Rayner from 24. He hits the left upright but the ball is kind enough to go through anyway. GREEN BAY 20 - MINNESOTA 14.

4th Quarter

14:49 - Mewelde Moore muffs the punt and it gets kicked out of the back of the end zone. The Back Judge rules it as a safety but then realizes it was just a touchback. I love safeties. They make that little pyramid signal with their hands and it's all depressing for the other team! I love it! But alas, it was not to be. Alas.

13:34 - Yet another three and out for the Vikings. My Dad is having a hard time paying attention them. He just let my wife know that if you put cucumbers in your arm pits it will get rid of a hangover. My dad's a bit of a health nut and loves the "around the house" medical marvels available to us. You know what I have around my house for my hangovers Dad? Aspirin.

11:06 - AJ and Nick Barnett nearly take Garden Hose Johnson's head off on a sack. The Vikings suck at picking up blitzes.

7:46 - Was that a punt? No? Just a deep pass from Garden Hose? Gotcha. 35 yard rainbow from Johnson gets intercepted by Patrick Dendy who was 5 yards off the receiver. Johnson has no zip on the ball. That thing looked like a punt with the high arc and soft landing. By the way, exactly one second before this play my Dad said "Johnson doesn't have it, I'd put in the rookie and let him make his mistakes."

3:41 - Ruvell Martin, who hasn't done much to warrant commentary in this space, makes a great catch after getting rocked by a linebacker over the middle. That'll be on the lame "jacked up" sequence on ESPN or the lamer "booyaka" segment on NFL network tonight.

2:14 - On the Vikings 15 or so Favre has a couple options but wisely throws it away on third down. Rayner nails the figgie. Smart play by our QB ices the game. GREEN BAY 23 - MINNESOTA 14.

1:40 - Garden Hose is scrambling and AJ has a bead on him. He stops and covers the running back instead and prevents a completion. The guy knows what's going on out there.

1:06 - The Vikings kick a field goal. They have no timeouts. It all comes down to the onsides kick. GREEN BAY 23 - MINNESOTA 17.

1:02 - Artose Pinner definitely got the check. He was offsides on the onsides kick and negated the Vikings recovery of the ball. Longwell puts the next one out of bounds. Game over. My dad decides to try out as a professional game announcer and says that Favre looks "Exuberating." See? I don't just rip on announcers.

This was a beautiful win. The Packers looked vastly superior to the Vikings across the board. Other than the gift TD we handed them they could only manage 7 points against our defense. I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and listen to all the Vikings whiners on KFAN.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Follow the Mantra

This game is simple.

Don't turn the ball over.

That's it.

Don't turn the ball over.

Why is it simple?

The Vikings do not have the talent to score points without your help. Don't turn the ball over.

This game is winnable because the fans in this town are down, down, down on the Vikings offense (and therefore the whole team). If the Packers can keep the ball then they will win. It doesn't matter if they have a bunch of three and outs. It doesn't matter if they don't catch easy interceptions (I'm looking at you Mr. Harris). It won't even matter if they allow a big kick return. Don't turn the ball over.

The fans will be about 60/40 for the Vikings at best. They will be loud and unhappy if the Vikings continue to be the worst offense in the league. They will turn on them. The only thing that will get them fired up is a big defensive play. Don't turn the ball over.

That's it. It's maddeningly simple. Play the field position game all day. The Vikings have no one, NOT A SOUL, that can make a play on offense. Even with a busted coverage or two (that you know we'll be displaying at some point). We keep the ball, we win. This is the second week in a row where the Packers are more talented than their opponent, only one thing can stop them. Hopefully everyone knows it by now.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Minnesota Weak

They don't pack much of a punch this year, but let's be honest...the Vikings and their fans deserve nothing more than a loss. Which brings to this weeks Tim Harris Mail Sack.

"Brent Schoonover said...

Yeah, I'm anxious for this week. I too am a Minnesota based Packer fan and really enjoy your site, check it out everyday. Thanks for blogging! It is a select few who know the pain of being a Packer Backer in the land of lakes!

Brent Schoonover"

Thanks for checking us out Brent, Tim Harris thanks you too.

Here's another video showing the great Viking defeat from a few years ago.

Speaking of great moments in Packer history, remember this Viking fans?

Last thing I say this week. M.F. Pack and I went to a Packer/Viking game in the Dome about 10 years ago, and the Viking fans were such asses. They really are the NFL's nastiest fans. Keep it up jerks!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Viking Week

A year or two ago the local papers and radio stations in Minnesota started constantly calling this Packer Week. They never really specify that it's one of two Packer weeks, they just say "packer week". Which is entertaining for me, a soldier stuck behind enemy lines. The coverage goes through the roof and, because this is the Vikings biggest rivalry, it gets pretty vicious.

I always enjoy hearing what other fans and regional media members think of the Packers. They have no obligation to look on the bright side and the beat reporters don't have to worry about offending a player or coach that they're gonna need a quote from down the road, so the filter comes off a bit and we get to hear what they really think.

I can tell you that most fans think this is the week the Vikings begin their playoff charge. That's laughable and it's got nothing to do with this week's game. They may well win, but if the Vikings are a playoff team then the NFC may want to reconsider sending 6 teams. They're a bad team.

That's not to say the Packers are better. They are both throwing out one half of a team each week. With the Pack it's the defense that seems to blow a coverage for a TD at least once a game. For the Vikings it's trying to, y'know, score a TD on offense period. They can't do it. Did you know they haven't scored an offensive TD in half their games? What kind of offense gets shut out 4 times in 8 games?

On the flip side their D is solid and can score. Since Jon Kitna won't be around to hand them two TD's this week I don't know how much that will impact the game but it should be noted.

Much like the Bills game that was a combination of crappy and ugly never before seen, and therefore worthy of a new word like "crugly", the Packers have the more talented team. They can win this game. The Vikings specialize in waiting for the other team to make mistakes because they don't have anyone, and I mean ANYONE, that can make a play for them on offense. So it's simple, don't turn the ball over and put the W in the column. Of course that whole "don't turn the ball over" thing is the tricky part.

I considered getting tickets to the Humpty Dump to watch this game. The Vikings are having a hard time selling tickets now that they have no offense to show off. I don't remember the last time I heard them selling tickets for games 2 weeks away, it was prior to Randy Moss in '98 though. So the pressure is building. The fanbase has not sold off on the new coach (where have we heard that before) and they're executives are even less established than TT.

Enjoy the week people. Read the Star Tribune and PiPress and laugh at KFAN as they try to come up with reasons for Vikings fans to be excited. I mean it is Packer Week after all, and that only comes around twice a year.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Golden Mullet Award-Buffalo

Remember this Bills fans. I sure do. Let's just say we both know the wrong team won this week, and we'll leave it at that. Now, on the the golden mullet awards.


I don't care if he had a good amount of yards passing, too many turnovers.

Running Backs

You won my heart with 100 yards.


Donald got yards and a touchdown...and Jennings got hurt. Look, you guys didn't do bad, but you needed more points.

Special Teams

Not special enough.


Nice job boys.


You dropped the ball buddy.

Bills Fans

I don't care that you suffer as much as Viking fans, you deserve worse.

Let's learn from our turnovers, and let's march into the roller dome and beat those damn vikings.