As you've probably sorted out by now I usually do a game log after the dust has settled. That won't be the case this week thanks to the schedule and also the 100% awesome headache I had going all Monday night. In the title bout of Me vs. Headache it won with a TKO somewhere after Greg Lewis took Ahmad Carroll's jock away the first time and sometime before he was crowned King of Gregonia for his heroic performance on the gridiron. I don't know if they'll want the crown back now that Ahmad got cut. They're tough to read in Gregonia.
Your announcers for the evening: Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann and Tony Kornheiser. Because when I think of the NFL's big time event, I think of a below average play by play guy, an ex-player who probably asks people to kiss his superbowl ring at least once a week and calls people "champ" unironically and an "edgy" columnist that happens to look like the villain in a Jane Austen novel.
They're throwing out a theme for the night. Crossroads. How does that work exactly? Are Brett Favre and Donovan McNabb really at a crossroads? If I were Robert Johnson's soul I'd be offended by the flippant way they throw this around like it's a big decision. Should I continue making millions playing a game I love? Or should I retire with the millions I already have? Yeah, that totally compares to a poor black child in Mississippi selling his soul for some guitar picking ability.
Kornheiser rambles on and on in what is obviously pre-written and surprisingly hamfisted coming from a professional writer. He then quotes Dylan Thomas and somehow manages to be even less inspirational than Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. Oh, should I rage against the dying of the light Tony? Do you mind if I get a beer first? I mean, I know games are full of hyperbole and all that but c'mon, leave the poetry to the tough decisions, it just sounds lame and awkward in a setting where Hank Williams Jr. is present.
I would like to install two rows of fireworks on the roof of my house a la Philly's stadium. Fire 'em off every time I grill a steak perfectly or mow the lawn in under an hour.
I think I like Vernand Morency. He's got some speed to him and from what I understand, speed is sorta handy for a tailback. I'm hoping he's just learning and the line's just learning and maybe he isn't just a 2 yards and a clowd of dust sort of guy. But then Ahman was basically Christl's personal whipping boy for a year or two when he started out and then he figured it out. Hopefully Morency can blossom like that.
Yes I just mentioned that I hoped an adult male would "blossom".
The funny part about doing this two days after the fact is that in my game notes I actually wrote asking about what Ahmad has to do to get cut? Apparently the answer is "make Greg Lewis look competent". How many more Sherman draftees are still on the team? How many aren't terrible? Can we package Fergie and his heart (separate containers) along with Nick Barnett to um, anyone, just to possibly cleanse our souls?
I know TT hasn't really provided us with much hope thus far but the cupboard was bare folks. Bare! Thanks to Mike II's horrible incompetence at the draft board. Don't forget that. Don't ever forget. For 5 years there we got nothing out of the draft and that's why we're terrible now. I think my headache is coming back. Yeesh.