Monday, October 16, 2006

Checking in on an Old Friend

Excerpts from staff reports from the Orlando Sentinel (mostly).

The newest Jaguar, DB Ahmad Carroll, says he's glad that Green Bay is in his past. He signed with the Jags this week after being cut by the Packers.

"I like a bigger city," said Carroll, who's from Atlanta. Jacksonville is significantly larger than the NFL's smallest city, it also lacks charm or personality.

"You know what the tallest building in Green Bay is? The stadium! The football stadium!" Carroll laughed for a few minutes at this amusing revelation and then expounded. "...and the white people, they have, like, a ton of them up there. What's up with that? Ha ha. I don't get it. They're all like white and tall. Well everybody's tall when you're 5 foot nothing like me but you know what I mean..."

A college player at Arkansas, he also missed Southeastern football. Because, y'know, there's nothing quite like watching Florida destroy Georgia School for the Blind 56-0 on a Saturday. "Ah man, college football is the best (level that I could play at competently). I'm just happy to be back in the south where a level playing field can be laughed at like it should be. Plus it sorta mirrors society down here...well, actually that's kinda sad I guess. What was I saying? Go Razorbacks! Whoo!"

"I'm just excited to play for a team that thought Teal was a good idea for a team color. I know they're an expansion team and everything, I mean how could you forget? They put that teal in there so you'd never confuse 'em with the established teams with real colors. That's awesome. Why not go with light blue and tan like the beaches here in Florida? Why do that when Teal's still on the table? I'm excited and fired up to play for a team that ranks second in importance to a freaking college team and has the crappy colors to prove it."

"When I got there, I went out and bought the best TV service I could," he said. "They said it would have all the football games. Well, it did -- all the boring Big Ten games!"

That last one's an actual quote and everything. I didn't even make that one up. I'm not big on college football but I'm fairly certain Penn State, Michigan, Ohio State and Wisconsin fans might have a different opinion of the level of play. I'm guessing Ahmad was a little bitter that he couldn't get into any of those schools.

I mean, knocking a Big 10 school when you went to Arkansas is like knocking Carmen Electra when you're Bea Arthur. I should note that Bea Arthur was not Blanche on the Golden Girls. She was the tall one that looked like your grandfather. Yep, that one. Blanche could give Carmen a run for her money, she was the sexy one after all.


Anonymous said...

Yeah, I liked Sherman too.

Anonymous said...

sooo lame.

Anonymous said...

You guys lost me!!!

Anonymous said...

hey Dick Tracy action figure called, he thinks you should grow up.