Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Queries From Query - Vonta Leach Edition

In keeping with our plan of only interviewing doomed running backs we now publish this interview with Vonta Leach by our correspondent in the field Jeff Query (Former "white lightning" WR for the Packers). This interview took place Sunday afternoon in the locker room after the loss to the Bears.

Jeff Query: Wow, rough game today huh?

Vonta Leach: Yep. We got whupped.

JQ: Ahman had over 100 yards though. That's got to feel good for a blocker like you.

VL: Not when you get whupped.

JQ: Not even just a little bit. You can say you did your job right?

VL: Nah man, 26-0? We didn't do our jobs.

JQ: Right. Overall that's pretty clear. I mean, people don't lose 26 to zero by trying their hardest and all that. I get that. I'm just saying you, did you do all you could do?

VL: What are you digging at?

JQ: You ever think that maybe they should build the offense around you? I mean, c'mon, you're THE Vonta Leach. You should be getting 15 touches a game.

VL: You serious? I'm a fullback man. I run like Oprah after a weekend bender at the Cheesecake Factory.

JQ: Don't sell yourself short.

VL: I have hands of stone. Literally. Hold my hand (they shake hands). See? I can barely even bend my fingers.

JQ: You do feel sort of like the Thing. You know from Marvel comic book's Fantastic Four series? The orange rock guy? That's how your hands feel. Is the rest of you like that? (reaching to touch Vonta's shoulders).

VL: Do not touch me. Nah the rest of me isn't like that. I'm just not a good receiver, man.

JQ: Well you shook my hand. Don't be angry at me for doing more research on the subject. If you're the Thing people would want to know. I still think you could be the focal point of the offense though.

VL: You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I am being underused. It's not like these other fellas are doing anything great right?

JQ: What did you just say? (yelling to the crowded locker room) Hey everyone! Vonta thinks he should be the focal point of the offense! He thinks you guys all suck! I have it here on tape!

VL: You son of a %@#$%&! He tricked me into saying that, I was telling him I was about the team. C'mon fellas!

Donald Driver: He tricked you? The dude lives in a cardboard box outside the stadium. Remember you saw him the other day and gave him a dollar for some McNuggets or something? You got tricked by him? I don't buy it.

William Henderson: I knew it. Vonta's not a team player. Something must be done. Something. Must. Be. Done.

From Press Release on

The Green Bay Packers Tuesday released fullback Vonta Leach. Ted Thompson, Executive Vice President, General Manager and Director of Football Operations, made the announcement.

Wide receiver Koren Robinson, who agreed to terms yesterday, signed with Green Bay Tuesday.

No comments: