Oh My God

Miller Lite and the NFL have joined up to present fans with a unique experience that may just destroy my good friend Majikman. If, that is, childlike glee can actually destroy a person.

In the Minneapolis Star Tribune they recently ran this story. Fans bid for the chance to watch the Vikings-Bears game with Chris Doleman and John Randle (both formerly of the Vikings) and Shaun Gayle (who apparently played for the Bears but never once made me think "wow, that Shaun Gayle is worth remembering.")

In a followup column the fans went into a little detail about what it was like to have two memorable Vikings and someone who they had never heard of at their home for the game. You can check it out here.

Now this is just for a piddly little Vikings game against the Bears. Imagine the excitement if at least one cool team was involved, say maybe your Green Bay Packers, as they meet up with the Vikings in week 10. The game will include Doleman and Randle again (apparently they're pretty much always available) and Leroy Butler and Don Majkowski of the Packers. I don't know how much Majikman would bid for a chance to sit down with the Real Majik Man but I'm guessing it's more than say, the entire amount of cash he has ever spent to clothe himself over his lifetime.

I'm intrigued because Leroy Butler is one of my all time favorite players. I can't imagine watching a football game and handing a Leinie's Red to Leroy. Just seeing him out of the corner of my eye rather than my wife wearing her Packer hat and flipping through a magazine would be jarring. But then you can talk to them to! Craziness I tells ya!

This doesn't even begin to mention the subtle ways of messing with the former Vikings. Accidentally spilling the guacamole on Randle? Stuffing the toilet so Doleman feels awkward about asking for the plunger? C'mon! Who wouldn't want to do that stuff?

I must say, this idea is sort of brilliant. Not in the Stephen Hawking sort of way that maybe only 3 people on the planet could understand. But in that way that makes you slap your head and wonder why you didn't think of it before. These guys are retired! They have nothing to do! The question isn't "why would they show up?" The question is "why haven't they stopped by my place already?" You think I wouldn't open my doors to Edgar Bennett or Santana Dotson and watch a game with 'em? I've got the beer, chips and pizza all set and ready fellas. We'll see you around, say, 11:30?